Prior to this unit it was clear in my mind that I would be following the dominant social practices surrounding prom. I imagined myself renting a tuxedo and a limo, parting with my parents after dark to pick up my date. Then I would romantically take her hand and in the most polite tone ever, greet and reassure her parents (especially her father) that their daughter was in good hands. The limo ride would be fun as we would meet the rest of our friends and pick them up as well, being that we all pitched in for the limo. Then we would arrive and all emerge, all looking spectacular and turning everyone’s heads around us. Beyond that we would dance, drink, be with those we care about, and reminisce on all the great times we shared. This would be both a joyous and dreadful experience for us. I just want to have fun on prom and I want to remember it.
After homework #58 I spoke with a friend of mine who was hungover and did not have a great time because both he and his date were excessively intoxicated. Initially I imagined myself drinking a lot as well, but I now realize that I truly do not want to. I do not want to feel that way where I cannot even have fun. I think I may not drink at all that night. I want to enjoy and remember the night, not think back and only see myself throwing up or being knocked out. This to me is not something memorable.
Based on the photographs it seemed as if everyone had a great time. A dominant social practice that I believe is most necessary during prom, is dressing up. People have complained that prom is overrated and a waste, particularly from a financial standpoint where the cost of the attire can be blamed. Although it is a lot of money, I think it is worth it. I feel like people are provided with a feeling of dominance and importance based on being so well dressed. I imagine that it helps people realize how important of an event the prom really is and allow the emotional impact of prom to be more significant.
One thing that interests me is how those who do not go to prom handle it. Why do these people do not go. Aside from not having a date, the more obvious and emotionally painful reason, why not go? Is it a self conscious thing? Is it money? When school began on Friday I saw three seniors who did not go to prom. When I asked them if they did not go to prom, they replied “we did our own thing.” Truthfully, part of me does not buy this. What of your own thing could you have done rather than going to prom? Why do that instead of prom? There were two people together at first, male and female, so couldn’t they have taken each other, at least as “friends?” If not, the three could have at least attended the after party as a group. I suppose I have my own personal bias given that I value prom’s significance so much, but I do not see what else could be worth missing prom. Then again these people could have had other issues that are far more significant that prom; I am not their peers so I do not know what goes on in their lives. I guess it is not right of me to judge them. I just know that very few things will stop me from attending my prom.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
HW 58 - Prom Interviews
Questions:
1. Do you think that prom is overrated? Why/why not?
2. How does prom compare to a wedding?
3. How do you think prom is significant in the lives of those who participate?
4. How can prom be a “rite of passage?” Do you agree that it is?
5. Why do you think some elect not to attend prom?
6. Did you go to prom? How was that experience for you?
7. Do you think prom is ‘just another party’ or more than that? Why/why not?
8. What do you think the dominant social practices surrounding prom are and why do you agree/disagree with them?
9. Why did you want to go to prom?
10. What do you expect from prom and why?
11. How are you feeling?
12. What are some things that you regret doing or would do differently?
Answers:
For this assignment I spoke to three different people. The fist was a friend of mine who I actually have had several discussions about prom already, being that neither of us attended. After asking and receiving answers to the above questions, it was clear to me that this person valued prom. He felt that it was important in teenager’s lives and all teenagers should have the opportunity to experience it. When discussing the dominant social practices, he said that, “that’s just how things are.” We do not challenge these practices because know nothing aside from them, like staying out all night, having sexual relations, and drinking/smoking. He related this to simple things like eating with forks knives and spoons rather than our hands, or even just wearing shoes. These references made me thing about the history of prom and how things were different at one time in comparison to today. If things like eating and walking were different it is not hard to imagine how prom could have been.
The second person I spoke with was a peer who is my age but attended prom with a senior. He actually came to school the following day, like very few did, but he seemed very depressed. When I asked him about his experience he simply said, “I’m hung over as fuck right now.” Despite this, I could tell that something was wrong. One dominant expectation for prom night is to have sexual interactions with another person. When I asked my friend about his date, he said that she got extremely sick and could barely function. This actually made me feel bad because it is not fair that his night was ruined (to some extent at least) just because his date was not feeling well. Relating back to the dominant social practices, it is clear that these peers of mine did not think much about them and simply following them robotically almost. They did not even take into consideration how the night could have gone otherwise. To me it is unfortunate that things happened this way. My peer said that he regrets drinking so much, which I can completely understand based on his state during the conversation.
The last person I interviewed was my father. He was by far the most interesting of the people because he seemed very uninterested in the topic and unwilling to answer my questions. He gave all very brief answers as if he did not want to talk about it. He said that he sees prom as a way for teenagers to celebrate their achievements so far in life, therefore he agrees that it is significant in their lives. He said that it does not seem like a rite of passage to him either because many people do not attend prom and still become successful adults, therefore it is not something that makes you an adult. When speaking about why some may choose not to go he said that people may have had a difficult life throughout high school and fear embarrassment. I feel that people with this situation should not allow others to stop them from having fun. Prom is too significant to miss because you are intimidated by the presence of someone that is popular; you are not going for them you are going for you. My father also said that he does not see prom as just another party because it is symbolic of finishing high school. Despite this, he said that he would not had been very disappointed if he missed his own, even though he said he had fun there. My dad is not a parent that condones any type of illegal consumption regardless of the situation; however I suspect that he did so on his prom night. For this reason I do not understand why he is so strict about things that are obvious social practices for nearly every teenager that attends prom. When I asked him about the dominant social practices, he simply said “to go to prom and have fun.” He seemed particularly uninterested in this question so I did not request any further elaboration. I wonder why this topic seemed to irritate him so much.
1. Do you think that prom is overrated? Why/why not?
2. How does prom compare to a wedding?
3. How do you think prom is significant in the lives of those who participate?
4. How can prom be a “rite of passage?” Do you agree that it is?
5. Why do you think some elect not to attend prom?
6. Did you go to prom? How was that experience for you?
7. Do you think prom is ‘just another party’ or more than that? Why/why not?
8. What do you think the dominant social practices surrounding prom are and why do you agree/disagree with them?
9. Why did you want to go to prom?
10. What do you expect from prom and why?
11. How are you feeling?
12. What are some things that you regret doing or would do differently?
Answers:
For this assignment I spoke to three different people. The fist was a friend of mine who I actually have had several discussions about prom already, being that neither of us attended. After asking and receiving answers to the above questions, it was clear to me that this person valued prom. He felt that it was important in teenager’s lives and all teenagers should have the opportunity to experience it. When discussing the dominant social practices, he said that, “that’s just how things are.” We do not challenge these practices because know nothing aside from them, like staying out all night, having sexual relations, and drinking/smoking. He related this to simple things like eating with forks knives and spoons rather than our hands, or even just wearing shoes. These references made me thing about the history of prom and how things were different at one time in comparison to today. If things like eating and walking were different it is not hard to imagine how prom could have been.
The second person I spoke with was a peer who is my age but attended prom with a senior. He actually came to school the following day, like very few did, but he seemed very depressed. When I asked him about his experience he simply said, “I’m hung over as fuck right now.” Despite this, I could tell that something was wrong. One dominant expectation for prom night is to have sexual interactions with another person. When I asked my friend about his date, he said that she got extremely sick and could barely function. This actually made me feel bad because it is not fair that his night was ruined (to some extent at least) just because his date was not feeling well. Relating back to the dominant social practices, it is clear that these peers of mine did not think much about them and simply following them robotically almost. They did not even take into consideration how the night could have gone otherwise. To me it is unfortunate that things happened this way. My peer said that he regrets drinking so much, which I can completely understand based on his state during the conversation.
The last person I interviewed was my father. He was by far the most interesting of the people because he seemed very uninterested in the topic and unwilling to answer my questions. He gave all very brief answers as if he did not want to talk about it. He said that he sees prom as a way for teenagers to celebrate their achievements so far in life, therefore he agrees that it is significant in their lives. He said that it does not seem like a rite of passage to him either because many people do not attend prom and still become successful adults, therefore it is not something that makes you an adult. When speaking about why some may choose not to go he said that people may have had a difficult life throughout high school and fear embarrassment. I feel that people with this situation should not allow others to stop them from having fun. Prom is too significant to miss because you are intimidated by the presence of someone that is popular; you are not going for them you are going for you. My father also said that he does not see prom as just another party because it is symbolic of finishing high school. Despite this, he said that he would not had been very disappointed if he missed his own, even though he said he had fun there. My dad is not a parent that condones any type of illegal consumption regardless of the situation; however I suspect that he did so on his prom night. For this reason I do not understand why he is so strict about things that are obvious social practices for nearly every teenager that attends prom. When I asked him about the dominant social practices, he simply said “to go to prom and have fun.” He seemed particularly uninterested in this question so I did not request any further elaboration. I wonder why this topic seemed to irritate him so much.
Monday, May 23, 2011
HW 57 - Initial Thoughts on Prom
Prom has actually always interested me. I always wondered about how it came to be what it is today. Based on our class discussions, apparently some people think that it is overrated and “not worth it.” I disagree with this; I think that it serves a certain significance. When discussing it being a “rite of passage” I do not think it is all that important to everyone. Prom should not be referred to as a rite of passage because I do not see how it changes any particular person. Nobody is having growth of any kind because of prom, it is simply an important time in a teenagers life that symbolizes the end of high school. It does not make anyone more of an adult, or less of a child, in any sense. To me this includes sexual interactions because I do not believe that virginity has a direct connection to adulthood, especially in this time period. Sex has become much more of an emotional act in terms of ‘love’ or ‘making love’ and has become something people do for fun rather than to show their affection.
As a child prom has always been something that I looked forward to. It is always portrayed as a very majestic experience for those involved and truthfully I want to see what is so special about it. Emotions are what determine how significant something is and I feel like prom can stir up so many emotions, which is why it is so important to so many people. To me the most emotional aspect would be knowing that it is my final year in high school and I will be parting with people I have gone through so much with. In addition to the four years of high school many students in eleventh grade were there since middle school, sixth grade, and I even have several friends from elementary school. While I do look forward to prom I also dread it to some extent because I do fear losing those that are so close to me.
1. Why do people make the decision not to go to prom?
2. How do different religions experience prom?
3. How has prom evolved throughout time?
4. How significant is sex in relation to prom and why?
5. Why do drugs/alcohol play such an important role to prom night?
As a child prom has always been something that I looked forward to. It is always portrayed as a very majestic experience for those involved and truthfully I want to see what is so special about it. Emotions are what determine how significant something is and I feel like prom can stir up so many emotions, which is why it is so important to so many people. To me the most emotional aspect would be knowing that it is my final year in high school and I will be parting with people I have gone through so much with. In addition to the four years of high school many students in eleventh grade were there since middle school, sixth grade, and I even have several friends from elementary school. While I do look forward to prom I also dread it to some extent because I do fear losing those that are so close to me.
1. Why do people make the decision not to go to prom?
2. How do different religions experience prom?
3. How has prom evolved throughout time?
4. How significant is sex in relation to prom and why?
5. Why do drugs/alcohol play such an important role to prom night?
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Extra Credit #5 Six Feet Under
"Pilot." Six Feet Under. HBO: 03 Jun 2001. Television. 16 May 2011.
This episode is basically about how the man of the family dies in a car accident and how the family deals with his death. It brings light on the fact that death is inevitable and you just have to deal with it. I am interested in this show because it discusses real aspects of death in a dramatic more entertaining matter than death normally is.
"The Will." Six Feet Under. HBO: 10 JUN 2001. Television. 17 May 2011.
This episode has much more to do with the actual care for the dead. The family struggles to take good care of their passed father as they struggle to afford the proper care. In his will He leaves his business to his two sons and college funds to his daughter. I do not believe that the way the dead are cared for are not as significant as many may think because it really does not matter, the person is already dead whatever is done to their body after that best satisfies the living rather than the dead. I am sure your dead father would not want you spending the last of your savings paying for his funeral.
"The Foot." Six Feet Under. HBO: 16 JUN 2001. Television. 17 May 2011.
More conflicts arise aside from the death of Fisher, their father and previous owner of the Funeral home. Nate decides that he wants to run the funeral home as a family, however faces a big problem when part of a clients body is lost. Despite the seriousness of the issue, this was actually a very humorous event that to me makes the show entertaining. These humorous additions are what keep me interested, as it is not often that humor and death go so well toghether.
Show Analysis:
I find this to be a very interesting show. While the events are fictional, they are realistic, so these things can happen to anyone. I like the realistic aspect because it keeps me interested, knowing that I can and will one day experience events similar to those the family had. The way the family deals with these events is critical to the storyline of the show as they lead to conflict and display the connection the family has with each other.
I think a key event was when Nate decided that he would not sell the funeral home. Funeral homes are probably one of the steadiest businesses in the world, since people are always dying and it is an inescapable event. Despite this, Nate’s primary motivation to keeping it was because of the symbolism it had to the family. This is an example of how losing someone close to you can impact you because Nate initially did not want the funeral home, but changed his mind when he realized its value both literally and emotionally. I find this to be a fun show that turns a generally touchy and sensitive topic into a fun one and I would recommend it to anyone.
This episode is basically about how the man of the family dies in a car accident and how the family deals with his death. It brings light on the fact that death is inevitable and you just have to deal with it. I am interested in this show because it discusses real aspects of death in a dramatic more entertaining matter than death normally is.
"The Will." Six Feet Under. HBO: 10 JUN 2001. Television. 17 May 2011.
This episode has much more to do with the actual care for the dead. The family struggles to take good care of their passed father as they struggle to afford the proper care. In his will He leaves his business to his two sons and college funds to his daughter. I do not believe that the way the dead are cared for are not as significant as many may think because it really does not matter, the person is already dead whatever is done to their body after that best satisfies the living rather than the dead. I am sure your dead father would not want you spending the last of your savings paying for his funeral.
"The Foot." Six Feet Under. HBO: 16 JUN 2001. Television. 17 May 2011.
More conflicts arise aside from the death of Fisher, their father and previous owner of the Funeral home. Nate decides that he wants to run the funeral home as a family, however faces a big problem when part of a clients body is lost. Despite the seriousness of the issue, this was actually a very humorous event that to me makes the show entertaining. These humorous additions are what keep me interested, as it is not often that humor and death go so well toghether.
Show Analysis:
I find this to be a very interesting show. While the events are fictional, they are realistic, so these things can happen to anyone. I like the realistic aspect because it keeps me interested, knowing that I can and will one day experience events similar to those the family had. The way the family deals with these events is critical to the storyline of the show as they lead to conflict and display the connection the family has with each other.
I think a key event was when Nate decided that he would not sell the funeral home. Funeral homes are probably one of the steadiest businesses in the world, since people are always dying and it is an inescapable event. Despite this, Nate’s primary motivation to keeping it was because of the symbolism it had to the family. This is an example of how losing someone close to you can impact you because Nate initially did not want the funeral home, but changed his mind when he realized its value both literally and emotionally. I find this to be a fun show that turns a generally touchy and sensitive topic into a fun one and I would recommend it to anyone.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Poem One:
The Last Waltz
By Snehal Amembal Shiralkar
Shiralkar, Snehal Amembal. "The Last Waltz." PoemHunter.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 May 2011. http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-last-waltz-2/
The author illustrates a love story coming to a tragic end with death. Romance is always fun to read and the incorporation of death adds a typically sad ending to the love story. The part of the poem that focuses on the care of the dead are the last two lines,
“You've lived your life', it gestured,
‘There is no second chance'....”
To me the point here is something similar to that in Harold and Maude, where you should live your life to the fullest because there is nothing beyond death.
Poem Two:
Death in the Morning
By Ronberge Anno Tercia
Tercio, Ronberge Anno. "Death in the Morning." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011. http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/free-form-death-in-the-morning-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death/
The author writes a touching poem sharing the relationship the protagonist and the dead man had. They could have been lovers, friends, or even family, but regardless it was obvious that he meant a lot to her and they spent time together. The author refers to the body as furniture, which could mean several things. The furniture is obviously a metaphor but is it giving value to the dead or depreciating value?
Poem Three:
Its Death Again
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R."It’s Death Again." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/it-s-death-again/
This poem somehow has a cheerful despite its topic. The protagonist seems to be fearful of death as he/she is constantly on the lookout for it. Death is inevitable and you cannot avoid it, so there is no point in trying to run from it, it will find you. I predict that this person would desire cremation solely because he/she seems like an adventurous person given the tone of the writing and the portrayal of the characters movements.
Poem Four:
Beldame of Death
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Beldame of Death." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/beldame-of-death/
This was a very confusing poem to me. The language used was particularly confusing and the actual goal or theme of the poem was difficult to identify. It seems as if the author wants to tell the reader to be weary of your actions because death can strike at any moment, so be prepared. The character here seemed to be cursed somehow, which made his/her death far more painful in several aspects.
Poem Five:
Musings
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Musings." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/musings-15/
The bones seem to be symbolic of death. The author uses bones and everything around or even inside bones metaphorically to symbolize life and death. I enjoyed the line, “Of flesh in life – they’re marrowless!” I see this as a connection to the soul/spirit and body contrast as the marrow is the spirit and the bone itself is the body the spirit inhabits, so a bone with no marrow is like a body without a soul: dead.
Poem Six:
A Fresh Endeavour
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R."A Fresh Endeavour." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-fresh-endeavour/
This poem tells a story of the man (or woman) that lost his (or her) wife. The man accepts her death and embraces it rather than being saddened to a point where he takes it out on himself. His beliefs in regards to post-death give him some kind of reassurance that he and his wife will not be apart forever. I would very much like to believe that his beliefs are true because I know that being away from my soul mate forever would be the hardest thing I ever had to do and I honestly do not know if I can get past something like that.
Poem Seven:
Death and I
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Death and I." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-and-i/
This is a much more straightforward poem. The author discusses his relationship with death. He mentions that when he dies that nothing will matter and he will be just a memory, so he does not seem to believe in the afterlife. He acknowledges that death is inevitable which likely allows him to think about and discuss it in a less stressful, freer, way.
Poem Eight:
Night Close
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Night Close." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/night-close/
Reading this poem created a very dark and gloomy image in my mind. This is normally what is considered the typical setting of death, at least by shade. Again the Slaughter shares his beliefs on death as he makes it clear that you cannot avoid it. Maybe being in a nightly setting simply inspired this piece of work.
Poem Nine:
In Death, My Final Part
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "In Death, My Final Part." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/in-death-my-final-part/
The author now seems to have a desire to challenge death. I do not see any logical, sane, way to challenge death aside from taking it from yourself. If you kill yourself, you are not giving nature fate a chance to allow you to die naturally, or how you would have otherwise. On the other hand, it may have been fate for you to commit suicide, but regardless the point is that you cannot escape death in the end no matter what you do.
Poem Ten:
Death’s Too Near
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Death’s Too Near." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-s-too-near/
Apparently my interpretations of the authors emotions to death have been inaccurate. “Don’t you understand the fear
You trigger deep within my soul–?”
I thought that Slaughter was not afraid of death and welcomed it, which is not the case. It is possible that his acceptance of his own fear allows him to write so freely about death.
Poem Eleven:
Body
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Body." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-body-11/
This was by far the most powerful of the poems I have read so far. It went from aspects of life to how none of it really matters because at some point we will all be dead. Another message that this poem sends is to take advantage of all the time that you have because it does not last forever.
Poem Twelve:
Death, My Friend
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Death, My Friend." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-my-friend-2/
This poem changes the pace in comparison to the recent poems I have read by Slaughter. He goes back to the welcoming tone towards death speaking as if he even befriended death. This may be one way that he copes with his fear; he also mentions the spirit being separate from the body and the heaven-hell contrast which is interesting given his other pieces of work that lean towards nothingness post-death.
Poem Thirteen:
Death
By Nick Andrew Smith
Smith, Nick Andrew. "Death." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-423/
This was one of the more boring poems I have read. It was over simplistic and too plain, however I was intrigued by the author referring to heaven or hell while still having death as the end. A religious reference like this does not correlate with death being the final chapter, it continues with heaven or hell.
Poem Fourteen:
Death, Inevitable Death
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Death, Inevitable Death." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-inevitable-death/
This poem is very self explanatory as the author simply talks about how death is inescapable. One thing I continue to find interesting is how religious references can be made and still have such fear of death. If you believe in a religion and you believe that you will be going to heaven or hell when you die, what’s to be afraid of? If you have doubts then you do not truly believe, and if you do not have doubts there should not be any fear.
Poem Fifteen:
Punishment
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Punishment." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/punishment-16/
This poem is far more religiously centered than any that I have read. It focuses on how god will punish you for your actions. By displeasing god you will find yourself “in this prison!” which I believe is a metaphor for hell. The author shares his religious perspectives in this poem rather than the more common perspective, where death is simply the end.
Analysis
The two poems that I liked best (I could not choose between them) were poems ten and twelve, “Death’s too Near” and “Death, My Friend,” both by Mark R. Slaughter. “Death, My Friend” refers to death as a peer of the protagonist. This misleads the reader to believing that the author is not fearful of death and actually embraces it. “Death’s too near” on the other hand is a more honest portrayal of the author’s views. If you look above to the more brief analysis you can see that there is a quote where he actually states that he is afraid.
There are many other pieces by Slaughter where he portrays himself to be fearless of death; however it is likely just a tactic to avoid facing his fears. Unfortunately these poems did not make clear references to the actual care of the dead outside of religion and what he believes happens to the soul as opposed to the body. While several references were made to heaven and hell, I am still unsure of Slaughters position regarding what happens after death. He has pieces that say the soul and body separate to no specific location as well as those where the soul goes to heaven or hell. He also has several where death is just the end, nothing else. I would really having a conversation with this man to see what he truly things and how he expresses those views and ideas in his work or in other ways.
The Last Waltz
By Snehal Amembal Shiralkar
Shiralkar, Snehal Amembal. "The Last Waltz." PoemHunter.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 May 2011. http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-last-waltz-2/
The author illustrates a love story coming to a tragic end with death. Romance is always fun to read and the incorporation of death adds a typically sad ending to the love story. The part of the poem that focuses on the care of the dead are the last two lines,
“You've lived your life', it gestured,
‘There is no second chance'....”
To me the point here is something similar to that in Harold and Maude, where you should live your life to the fullest because there is nothing beyond death.
Poem Two:
Death in the Morning
By Ronberge Anno Tercia
Tercio, Ronberge Anno. "Death in the Morning." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011. http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/free-form-death-in-the-morning-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death-death/
The author writes a touching poem sharing the relationship the protagonist and the dead man had. They could have been lovers, friends, or even family, but regardless it was obvious that he meant a lot to her and they spent time together. The author refers to the body as furniture, which could mean several things. The furniture is obviously a metaphor but is it giving value to the dead or depreciating value?
Poem Three:
Its Death Again
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R."It’s Death Again." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/it-s-death-again/
This poem somehow has a cheerful despite its topic. The protagonist seems to be fearful of death as he/she is constantly on the lookout for it. Death is inevitable and you cannot avoid it, so there is no point in trying to run from it, it will find you. I predict that this person would desire cremation solely because he/she seems like an adventurous person given the tone of the writing and the portrayal of the characters movements.
Poem Four:
Beldame of Death
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Beldame of Death." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/beldame-of-death/
This was a very confusing poem to me. The language used was particularly confusing and the actual goal or theme of the poem was difficult to identify. It seems as if the author wants to tell the reader to be weary of your actions because death can strike at any moment, so be prepared. The character here seemed to be cursed somehow, which made his/her death far more painful in several aspects.
Poem Five:
Musings
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Musings." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/musings-15/
The bones seem to be symbolic of death. The author uses bones and everything around or even inside bones metaphorically to symbolize life and death. I enjoyed the line, “Of flesh in life – they’re marrowless!” I see this as a connection to the soul/spirit and body contrast as the marrow is the spirit and the bone itself is the body the spirit inhabits, so a bone with no marrow is like a body without a soul: dead.
Poem Six:
A Fresh Endeavour
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R."A Fresh Endeavour." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-fresh-endeavour/
This poem tells a story of the man (or woman) that lost his (or her) wife. The man accepts her death and embraces it rather than being saddened to a point where he takes it out on himself. His beliefs in regards to post-death give him some kind of reassurance that he and his wife will not be apart forever. I would very much like to believe that his beliefs are true because I know that being away from my soul mate forever would be the hardest thing I ever had to do and I honestly do not know if I can get past something like that.
Poem Seven:
Death and I
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Death and I." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-and-i/
This is a much more straightforward poem. The author discusses his relationship with death. He mentions that when he dies that nothing will matter and he will be just a memory, so he does not seem to believe in the afterlife. He acknowledges that death is inevitable which likely allows him to think about and discuss it in a less stressful, freer, way.
Poem Eight:
Night Close
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Night Close." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/night-close/
Reading this poem created a very dark and gloomy image in my mind. This is normally what is considered the typical setting of death, at least by shade. Again the Slaughter shares his beliefs on death as he makes it clear that you cannot avoid it. Maybe being in a nightly setting simply inspired this piece of work.
Poem Nine:
In Death, My Final Part
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "In Death, My Final Part." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/in-death-my-final-part/
The author now seems to have a desire to challenge death. I do not see any logical, sane, way to challenge death aside from taking it from yourself. If you kill yourself, you are not giving nature fate a chance to allow you to die naturally, or how you would have otherwise. On the other hand, it may have been fate for you to commit suicide, but regardless the point is that you cannot escape death in the end no matter what you do.
Poem Ten:
Death’s Too Near
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Death’s Too Near." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-s-too-near/
Apparently my interpretations of the authors emotions to death have been inaccurate. “Don’t you understand the fear
You trigger deep within my soul–?”
I thought that Slaughter was not afraid of death and welcomed it, which is not the case. It is possible that his acceptance of his own fear allows him to write so freely about death.
Poem Eleven:
Body
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Body." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-body-11/
This was by far the most powerful of the poems I have read so far. It went from aspects of life to how none of it really matters because at some point we will all be dead. Another message that this poem sends is to take advantage of all the time that you have because it does not last forever.
Poem Twelve:
Death, My Friend
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Death, My Friend." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-my-friend-2/
This poem changes the pace in comparison to the recent poems I have read by Slaughter. He goes back to the welcoming tone towards death speaking as if he even befriended death. This may be one way that he copes with his fear; he also mentions the spirit being separate from the body and the heaven-hell contrast which is interesting given his other pieces of work that lean towards nothingness post-death.
Poem Thirteen:
Death
By Nick Andrew Smith
Smith, Nick Andrew. "Death." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-423/
This was one of the more boring poems I have read. It was over simplistic and too plain, however I was intrigued by the author referring to heaven or hell while still having death as the end. A religious reference like this does not correlate with death being the final chapter, it continues with heaven or hell.
Poem Fourteen:
Death, Inevitable Death
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Death, Inevitable Death." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/death-inevitable-death/
This poem is very self explanatory as the author simply talks about how death is inescapable. One thing I continue to find interesting is how religious references can be made and still have such fear of death. If you believe in a religion and you believe that you will be going to heaven or hell when you die, what’s to be afraid of? If you have doubts then you do not truly believe, and if you do not have doubts there should not be any fear.
Poem Fifteen:
Punishment
By Mark R. Slaughter
Slaughter, Mark R. "Punishment." PoemHunter.com. N.p.,n.d. Web 18 May 2011.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/punishment-16/
This poem is far more religiously centered than any that I have read. It focuses on how god will punish you for your actions. By displeasing god you will find yourself “in this prison!” which I believe is a metaphor for hell. The author shares his religious perspectives in this poem rather than the more common perspective, where death is simply the end.
Analysis
The two poems that I liked best (I could not choose between them) were poems ten and twelve, “Death’s too Near” and “Death, My Friend,” both by Mark R. Slaughter. “Death, My Friend” refers to death as a peer of the protagonist. This misleads the reader to believing that the author is not fearful of death and actually embraces it. “Death’s too near” on the other hand is a more honest portrayal of the author’s views. If you look above to the more brief analysis you can see that there is a quote where he actually states that he is afraid.
There are many other pieces by Slaughter where he portrays himself to be fearless of death; however it is likely just a tactic to avoid facing his fears. Unfortunately these poems did not make clear references to the actual care of the dead outside of religion and what he believes happens to the soul as opposed to the body. While several references were made to heaven and hell, I am still unsure of Slaughters position regarding what happens after death. He has pieces that say the soul and body separate to no specific location as well as those where the soul goes to heaven or hell. He also has several where death is just the end, nothing else. I would really having a conversation with this man to see what he truly things and how he expresses those views and ideas in his work or in other ways.
Extra Credit #2 Harold and Maude
Mrs. Chasen is the mother of Harold. Her lack of parenthood, is likely the cause of Harold’s odd interest in death. Despite the family’s wealth Harold is clearly not satisfied with his life. This brings up the theme (or cliché), that “money cannot buy happiness.” This is a perfect example, given that Harold can have essentially anything he desires but gets the most joy out of things that are priceless, like the relationship he and Maude share. His continuous suicide attempts are likely a result of the neglect of affection he receives from his mother.
Harold is a free spirit. To me this is one simple way of describing him. Throughout the movie he challenges death, like with the hanging in the beginning, or the gunshot, or the driving off the cliff in the end. After seeing this movie the first thing that came to my mind was “Fences” by August Wilson. This was a play about a black man who, like Harold, challenges death. The only logical explanation for this is something physiological, which it most likely was for Troy, the protagonist in “Fences.” Unlike Troy, Harold had physically experienced things that should have killed him and survived them and on numerous occasions. I wonder if it is actually a way of him giving up on his life or just a rebellious mindset that makes him want to challenge the things that are inevitable in life and face them fearlessly. People tend to fear death and Harold’s welcoming of it is respectable to some extent. I think that an interesting twist would have been if Harold actually died in the end, so that way his death can represent completion, since Maude already left him.
Maude, like Harold, is also a free spirit, however in a less dramatic way. She teaches Harold to appreciate life and live it to its fullest. This is an idea that people often forget, especially in this time period. People do not make great use of their time which I think is because their expectations are too great. People see so many glamorous things and are infatuated by them, by greed. I would expect this to be an incentive for them however it actually seems to make people lazy. They expect these things to come easy and do not utilize their time well enough to achieve these things. In the movie Maude gives Harold a new meaning to life and he lives it up. Her significance is great in this movie and it passes on the theme (or cliché); to “live life to the fullest because you only get one.” Of course, some religions (or Harold’s repetitive resistance of death) may challenge this idea, but who wants to take that chance? You can never truly know what will happen when the time comes and our bodies and souls separate, or die together.
Harold is a free spirit. To me this is one simple way of describing him. Throughout the movie he challenges death, like with the hanging in the beginning, or the gunshot, or the driving off the cliff in the end. After seeing this movie the first thing that came to my mind was “Fences” by August Wilson. This was a play about a black man who, like Harold, challenges death. The only logical explanation for this is something physiological, which it most likely was for Troy, the protagonist in “Fences.” Unlike Troy, Harold had physically experienced things that should have killed him and survived them and on numerous occasions. I wonder if it is actually a way of him giving up on his life or just a rebellious mindset that makes him want to challenge the things that are inevitable in life and face them fearlessly. People tend to fear death and Harold’s welcoming of it is respectable to some extent. I think that an interesting twist would have been if Harold actually died in the end, so that way his death can represent completion, since Maude already left him.
Maude, like Harold, is also a free spirit, however in a less dramatic way. She teaches Harold to appreciate life and live it to its fullest. This is an idea that people often forget, especially in this time period. People do not make great use of their time which I think is because their expectations are too great. People see so many glamorous things and are infatuated by them, by greed. I would expect this to be an incentive for them however it actually seems to make people lazy. They expect these things to come easy and do not utilize their time well enough to achieve these things. In the movie Maude gives Harold a new meaning to life and he lives it up. Her significance is great in this movie and it passes on the theme (or cliché); to “live life to the fullest because you only get one.” Of course, some religions (or Harold’s repetitive resistance of death) may challenge this idea, but who wants to take that chance? You can never truly know what will happen when the time comes and our bodies and souls separate, or die together.
Extra Credit #1 Cemetery Visits
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
HW 56 - Culminating Project Comments
Jay, (http://allevidencetothecontrary.blogspot.com/)
I enjoyed reading your post and I liked how you only included the interesting aspects of the conversation. It makes it easier for the reader to digest the information while still showing that you had an enlightening worth while experience. The quote, “After talking to her and listening to Skip and his colleague, it seems that care of the dead specialists actually like their job, which I think is really weird. How can you like being around dead people and grieving all of time?” stood out to me because I feel the same way you do. I think that Skip’s relationship with death is the most meaningful to me because he is actually an emotional person and admits it, which may seem weird to some but I think it is something that will somehow make him better at what he does. I suppose that it relates to “the calling” that people in the business refer to, as you mentioned in your speech. Also, there were also no obvious grammar mistakes, which allow for a smoother read. Nice job.
Larche, (http://larchegnormalisweird4.blogspot.com/)
I liked your blog because it provided me with a lot of information. While it had a research paper style your analysis made reading it far less boring than I expected from this assignment. I particularly liked the sentence, “The experience of a home burial can also much more meaningful and personal than a traditional funeral because families are able to carry out the wishes of their dead in a private setting rather than being surrounded by strangers and allowing them to handle the death process, but by handling the death process of their loved one themselves can help the grieving process and make it easier to say their final goodbyes.” While this is an interesting point it is clear to me that some may need the assistance of a “stranger” like a funeral director. They can possibly ease the pain and make the process less difficult and stressful for the family member(s) whom experience the loss. In my opinion I feel that would help me to cope with my loss rather than having to deal with it myself. This was a strong post however I think proofreading is far too often discredited. While the quote above stood out to me it was also a running sentence. Had you proofread I am sure you would have caught it. All in all, good job.
Max, (http://maxnormalisweird.blogspot.com/)
I liked the way you went about the assignment. Making videos of the interviews made it a lot easier and more enjoyable to view rather than paragraphs of description. I liked how your father said, “it’s kind of like going home” which makes me think about places that are significant to me. He also mentioned music which made we wonder why he cared so much about things happening that he desired because he will not be the person to experience them, like the music. I wonder how he feels about the afterlife and the mind/spirit vs body contrast. Aside from this I am disappointed that your paragraph was not as elaborate or carefully written as I expected. It seemed carelessly written and I think that while the assignment was a good idea, especially with the videos, it could have been much better if your paragraph was more personal and detailed. Another paragraph could have even been added. Overall a solid and enjoyable post.
Lina, (http://normalisweirdbylina.blogspot.com/)
After hearing your elevator speech I felt like I had to read your blog. Truthfully I did not think that it was the best speech I heard, however your energy was respectable and I found the topic very interesting. I liked the tone that your writing maintained, which I found both pleasant and formal. Reading actually felt like I was listening to you talk, which I think is a quality that very few people have, especially when maintaining a formal tone simultaneously. Not many lines really stood out to me very much, however this one left me very thoughtful, “Veterans are only remembered on Memorial and Veterans' Day when flags were placed beside their grave. Children or young adults were some of the few who had flowers but past ten years after the burial, at least on my day of visitation, there was little or no evidence of the family being there. Is the care of our dead only relative to our grieving process?” I like how you inquire on the topics however I am more interested in hearing your views on the matter. After so much information a perspective would make the blog far more interesting in my opinion. You began the blog with a clear argument however as you provided your evidence you failed to continue adding your perspective. It seemed like you focused more on making your conclusion sound appealing rather than solidifying your argument. I liked your topic and enjoyed reading your post. Good job.
Willie, (http://treystar3.blogspot.com/)
Your elevator speech was one of the most interesting in my opinion. I feel that it is unfortunate that you struggle to find a comfort zone when you speak out loud. Your quietness make sometimes make you seem a lot less intelligent than you can be. On the other hand it can be advantageous to possibly keep you modest as opposed to those who boast there intellect. Your topics of religion were interesting to me however I feel that you need to elaborate more on them. For example, “The Egyptians also believed in reincarnation, so the king was never really gone forever. I have sometimes seen reincarnation as a kind of cool process, after talking to my mom, it doesn't seem as cool anymore. The Egyptians didn't really take care of the dead. They more just put the body in a tomb, wrapped it up, and left it there.” I too felt that the reincarnation process seemed cool however I do not know enough about it to make a decision on it. While you share both information that you gathered as well as your views, you do not elaborate on them. It seems like you completed this work hastily which really lowers the quality of the work. I would like to read more about why reincarnation was appealing to you, why your mother changed your views on it, and what you mean by the Egyptians lack of care for the dead, “wrapped it up, and left it there.” How is that any different from the social practices of today in context? Also, in text citations as well as an annotated bibliography should be included with work like this. I think this was a great topic and that you did substantial work on your blog, however it was not written particularly carefully. Spending more time on your work could have made this an exceptional blog. You should consider taking Andy’s advice and focus on only one or two religions rather than three so that you can go into more depth with them rather than being so brief.
___________________________________________________________
From Megumi,
I found your post really interesting and fun to read. I thought home funerals were 'better' than the traditional funeral procedures, but this interview made me think otherwise. A line that caught my attention was, "The home funeral caused a negative reminder rather that a happy living one." I think I rather be remembered for the good times versus the bad, and though I thought at one point that having a personal home funeral would help people move forward after mourning with their own terms-perhaps this does not apply to everyone. Maybe avoiding reality, avoiding the fact that the person they loved has passed away-is the right decision for some. The interview made me re-think about the home funeral idea. This was a nicely written post.
From Leah,
I thought that your post was intriguing. I thought it was weird how the woman was aganist home funeral because of the constant reminder that she had a dead loved one in her house, i think that is the best part of a home funeral. It's nice that you had a fun time while doing this project which makes it more engaging. It's funny how the woman buys funeral magazines, i never heard of that before. Good Job!
From Sarah,
After hearing your speech I was inclined to check out your blog! Something you said while you were presenting to the class was how the experience you had with this woman was much more of a conversation than anything else. It made me think about if now we are biased and assume everyone and anyone involved in the funeral business is soulless and in it for the big bucks. I liked this line, "The woman was comfortable and natural in her conversation with Jay and I. She seemed genuinely happy with her position and even shared some things that interested her in the business, like reading coffin magazines as others read car or celebrity magazines. It looked like she really loved what she did." Although it is hard to imagine how someone could actually feel comfortable in this sort of position it obviously does happen. I enjoyed reading this and hearing you speak about it in class. Good Job!
From Dima,
Rossi, your discussion was very interesting to read for me because you answered the questions which tells everything related to your project. You stand for you opinion and it makes it more interesting. In your interview, people tell you about how they want to be cemented or not. You recorded their opinions which are different! Good job!
From Max,
I think that it was very interesting that you decided to interview the women that you did. Do you think that having someone to help you with forming your questions helped you shape your post? and also how do you think her being so comfortable in the interview helped you remember key information?
From Larche,
I enjoyed reading your recap of the interview with the women at the funeral home. I liked that you decided to go out and explore this topic more and ask questions to someone who is in the business and knows a lot more. Something I found interesting was the woman's take on home funerals and how she was against them. Since I did my project on home burials which just goes to show that everyone has their own way of dealing with the death process that makes easier for them. That in the end it's all about remembering that person and honoring their life and wishes.
From Rossi (Mentor),
My wife and I had a discussion about cremation vs burial just a couple days ago. Although it sounds "nice" to be scattered over the ocean or somewhere significant to you or your loved one during life, it seems to me that really leaves no place to visit...knowing that person physically is six feet below you. I guess we're simply used to the fact of one being able to visit a lost one at an actual location, and not just in spirit.
From Tia (Proteje),
I found your post to be interesting. One part i found interesting was when the woman says "she wanted to be cremated because she did not want people to see her in that state but to remember her from her life." I found that part interesting because of past experiences. When my grandfather died I really didn't want to see him, it would've just hurt more. At least with cremation I didn't have to be haunted with the memory of his cold and lifeless face. But yet it is also weird how she was against cremation as well. Great job =]
I enjoyed reading your post and I liked how you only included the interesting aspects of the conversation. It makes it easier for the reader to digest the information while still showing that you had an enlightening worth while experience. The quote, “After talking to her and listening to Skip and his colleague, it seems that care of the dead specialists actually like their job, which I think is really weird. How can you like being around dead people and grieving all of time?” stood out to me because I feel the same way you do. I think that Skip’s relationship with death is the most meaningful to me because he is actually an emotional person and admits it, which may seem weird to some but I think it is something that will somehow make him better at what he does. I suppose that it relates to “the calling” that people in the business refer to, as you mentioned in your speech. Also, there were also no obvious grammar mistakes, which allow for a smoother read. Nice job.
Larche, (http://larchegnormalisweird4.blogspot.com/)
I liked your blog because it provided me with a lot of information. While it had a research paper style your analysis made reading it far less boring than I expected from this assignment. I particularly liked the sentence, “The experience of a home burial can also much more meaningful and personal than a traditional funeral because families are able to carry out the wishes of their dead in a private setting rather than being surrounded by strangers and allowing them to handle the death process, but by handling the death process of their loved one themselves can help the grieving process and make it easier to say their final goodbyes.” While this is an interesting point it is clear to me that some may need the assistance of a “stranger” like a funeral director. They can possibly ease the pain and make the process less difficult and stressful for the family member(s) whom experience the loss. In my opinion I feel that would help me to cope with my loss rather than having to deal with it myself. This was a strong post however I think proofreading is far too often discredited. While the quote above stood out to me it was also a running sentence. Had you proofread I am sure you would have caught it. All in all, good job.
Max, (http://maxnormalisweird.blogspot.com/)
I liked the way you went about the assignment. Making videos of the interviews made it a lot easier and more enjoyable to view rather than paragraphs of description. I liked how your father said, “it’s kind of like going home” which makes me think about places that are significant to me. He also mentioned music which made we wonder why he cared so much about things happening that he desired because he will not be the person to experience them, like the music. I wonder how he feels about the afterlife and the mind/spirit vs body contrast. Aside from this I am disappointed that your paragraph was not as elaborate or carefully written as I expected. It seemed carelessly written and I think that while the assignment was a good idea, especially with the videos, it could have been much better if your paragraph was more personal and detailed. Another paragraph could have even been added. Overall a solid and enjoyable post.
Lina, (http://normalisweirdbylina.blogspot.com/)
After hearing your elevator speech I felt like I had to read your blog. Truthfully I did not think that it was the best speech I heard, however your energy was respectable and I found the topic very interesting. I liked the tone that your writing maintained, which I found both pleasant and formal. Reading actually felt like I was listening to you talk, which I think is a quality that very few people have, especially when maintaining a formal tone simultaneously. Not many lines really stood out to me very much, however this one left me very thoughtful, “Veterans are only remembered on Memorial and Veterans' Day when flags were placed beside their grave. Children or young adults were some of the few who had flowers but past ten years after the burial, at least on my day of visitation, there was little or no evidence of the family being there. Is the care of our dead only relative to our grieving process?” I like how you inquire on the topics however I am more interested in hearing your views on the matter. After so much information a perspective would make the blog far more interesting in my opinion. You began the blog with a clear argument however as you provided your evidence you failed to continue adding your perspective. It seemed like you focused more on making your conclusion sound appealing rather than solidifying your argument. I liked your topic and enjoyed reading your post. Good job.
Willie, (http://treystar3.blogspot.com/)
Your elevator speech was one of the most interesting in my opinion. I feel that it is unfortunate that you struggle to find a comfort zone when you speak out loud. Your quietness make sometimes make you seem a lot less intelligent than you can be. On the other hand it can be advantageous to possibly keep you modest as opposed to those who boast there intellect. Your topics of religion were interesting to me however I feel that you need to elaborate more on them. For example, “The Egyptians also believed in reincarnation, so the king was never really gone forever. I have sometimes seen reincarnation as a kind of cool process, after talking to my mom, it doesn't seem as cool anymore. The Egyptians didn't really take care of the dead. They more just put the body in a tomb, wrapped it up, and left it there.” I too felt that the reincarnation process seemed cool however I do not know enough about it to make a decision on it. While you share both information that you gathered as well as your views, you do not elaborate on them. It seems like you completed this work hastily which really lowers the quality of the work. I would like to read more about why reincarnation was appealing to you, why your mother changed your views on it, and what you mean by the Egyptians lack of care for the dead, “wrapped it up, and left it there.” How is that any different from the social practices of today in context? Also, in text citations as well as an annotated bibliography should be included with work like this. I think this was a great topic and that you did substantial work on your blog, however it was not written particularly carefully. Spending more time on your work could have made this an exceptional blog. You should consider taking Andy’s advice and focus on only one or two religions rather than three so that you can go into more depth with them rather than being so brief.
___________________________________________________________
From Megumi,
I found your post really interesting and fun to read. I thought home funerals were 'better' than the traditional funeral procedures, but this interview made me think otherwise. A line that caught my attention was, "The home funeral caused a negative reminder rather that a happy living one." I think I rather be remembered for the good times versus the bad, and though I thought at one point that having a personal home funeral would help people move forward after mourning with their own terms-perhaps this does not apply to everyone. Maybe avoiding reality, avoiding the fact that the person they loved has passed away-is the right decision for some. The interview made me re-think about the home funeral idea. This was a nicely written post.
From Leah,
I thought that your post was intriguing. I thought it was weird how the woman was aganist home funeral because of the constant reminder that she had a dead loved one in her house, i think that is the best part of a home funeral. It's nice that you had a fun time while doing this project which makes it more engaging. It's funny how the woman buys funeral magazines, i never heard of that before. Good Job!
From Sarah,
After hearing your speech I was inclined to check out your blog! Something you said while you were presenting to the class was how the experience you had with this woman was much more of a conversation than anything else. It made me think about if now we are biased and assume everyone and anyone involved in the funeral business is soulless and in it for the big bucks. I liked this line, "The woman was comfortable and natural in her conversation with Jay and I. She seemed genuinely happy with her position and even shared some things that interested her in the business, like reading coffin magazines as others read car or celebrity magazines. It looked like she really loved what she did." Although it is hard to imagine how someone could actually feel comfortable in this sort of position it obviously does happen. I enjoyed reading this and hearing you speak about it in class. Good Job!
From Dima,
Rossi, your discussion was very interesting to read for me because you answered the questions which tells everything related to your project. You stand for you opinion and it makes it more interesting. In your interview, people tell you about how they want to be cemented or not. You recorded their opinions which are different! Good job!
From Max,
I think that it was very interesting that you decided to interview the women that you did. Do you think that having someone to help you with forming your questions helped you shape your post? and also how do you think her being so comfortable in the interview helped you remember key information?
From Larche,
I enjoyed reading your recap of the interview with the women at the funeral home. I liked that you decided to go out and explore this topic more and ask questions to someone who is in the business and knows a lot more. Something I found interesting was the woman's take on home funerals and how she was against them. Since I did my project on home burials which just goes to show that everyone has their own way of dealing with the death process that makes easier for them. That in the end it's all about remembering that person and honoring their life and wishes.
From Rossi (Mentor),
My wife and I had a discussion about cremation vs burial just a couple days ago. Although it sounds "nice" to be scattered over the ocean or somewhere significant to you or your loved one during life, it seems to me that really leaves no place to visit...knowing that person physically is six feet below you. I guess we're simply used to the fact of one being able to visit a lost one at an actual location, and not just in spirit.
From Tia (Proteje),
I found your post to be interesting. One part i found interesting was when the woman says "she wanted to be cremated because she did not want people to see her in that state but to remember her from her life." I found that part interesting because of past experiences. When my grandfather died I really didn't want to see him, it would've just hurt more. At least with cremation I didn't have to be haunted with the memory of his cold and lifeless face. But yet it is also weird how she was against cremation as well. Great job =]
Monday, May 16, 2011
HW 55 - Culminating Project - Care of the Dead
The receptionist at Provenzano Lanza Funeral Home Inc. had interesting things to say regarding the care of the dead. Aside from her paying job there, she is studying to be a funeral director herself. Here is the list of questions that were asked by Jay Mcarthy and I:
1. What are your views on embalming, or do you think that it is necessary? Are you aware of the environmental affects?
2. What motivated you to this occupation?
3. How do you want to be cared for when your time comes?
4. What do you think of home funerals?
5. GPL?
6. Do you think people are not knowledgeable enough on matters regarding the care of the dead?
Her responses were not very surprising, as she stated that embalming makes the viewing of the body easier for the family. Also that she is interested in the business because she wants to help the families that need it and make things easier for them. She said that she wanted to be cremated because she did not want people to see her in that state but to remember her from her life. The more interesting response was from the home funeral question where she said that she was personally against it. She wanted to remember the person for them and having it in their home caused a constant reminder of her dead loved one every time she entered the house. The home funeral caused a negative reminder rather that a happy living one. She agreed that people are not as knowledgeable as they should be, however, while somewhat predictable, she had an intriguing comment that people just do not want to know about the care of the dead. She said that people are not comfortable with the topic and prefer not to think about it. The woman also kindly provided us with a list of their GPA.
I have several opposing viewpoints to this woman’s views. I could never truly accept embalming because while it creates an accurate presentation if the passed one, it is not real. The person is no longer in that, seemingly living state; therefore I feel that they should not be portrayed that way. While causing more grief, I feel it would actually end up helping families because they have no choice but to accept the death in such a graphic way. I personally am still undecided on how I would like to be cared for when I pass, however this woman said she wants to be cremated. She did not want people to remember her for how she appeared when she was dead, but to remember the good fun times they shared and what she meant to them.
I found this experience to be fun and significant. Aside from just completing this assignment I got a sense for what someone in the business is like in what came to me as a more honest description. The woman was comfortable and natural in her conversation with Jay and I. She seemed genuinely happy with her position and even shared some things that interested her in the business, like reading coffin magazines as others read car or celebrity magazines. It looked like she really loved what she did.
These are a couple images of the funeral home as well as a cemetery right next to it:
1. What are your views on embalming, or do you think that it is necessary? Are you aware of the environmental affects?
2. What motivated you to this occupation?
3. How do you want to be cared for when your time comes?
4. What do you think of home funerals?
5. GPL?
6. Do you think people are not knowledgeable enough on matters regarding the care of the dead?
Her responses were not very surprising, as she stated that embalming makes the viewing of the body easier for the family. Also that she is interested in the business because she wants to help the families that need it and make things easier for them. She said that she wanted to be cremated because she did not want people to see her in that state but to remember her from her life. The more interesting response was from the home funeral question where she said that she was personally against it. She wanted to remember the person for them and having it in their home caused a constant reminder of her dead loved one every time she entered the house. The home funeral caused a negative reminder rather that a happy living one. She agreed that people are not as knowledgeable as they should be, however, while somewhat predictable, she had an intriguing comment that people just do not want to know about the care of the dead. She said that people are not comfortable with the topic and prefer not to think about it. The woman also kindly provided us with a list of their GPA.
I have several opposing viewpoints to this woman’s views. I could never truly accept embalming because while it creates an accurate presentation if the passed one, it is not real. The person is no longer in that, seemingly living state; therefore I feel that they should not be portrayed that way. While causing more grief, I feel it would actually end up helping families because they have no choice but to accept the death in such a graphic way. I personally am still undecided on how I would like to be cared for when I pass, however this woman said she wants to be cremated. She did not want people to remember her for how she appeared when she was dead, but to remember the good fun times they shared and what she meant to them.
I found this experience to be fun and significant. Aside from just completing this assignment I got a sense for what someone in the business is like in what came to me as a more honest description. The woman was comfortable and natural in her conversation with Jay and I. She seemed genuinely happy with her position and even shared some things that interested her in the business, like reading coffin magazines as others read car or celebrity magazines. It looked like she really loved what she did.
These are a couple images of the funeral home as well as a cemetery right next to it:
Thursday, May 5, 2011
HW 51 - Second Third of COTD Book
Précis:
In the second third of Grave Matters I focus on the more abstract ways to handle the care of the dead. I begin touching up on aspects of cremation, which is when the dead body is turned to ash. Families then decide what happens to the body, usually based on something with some type of significance to the person, or a last wish of the person. This leads to the burials at sea. These are usually of the cremated remains rather than a full body. The full body is significantly less common because it is much harder to carry out and is often avoided by the licensed cremated remains disposer since it is so difficult. The next method discussed was memorial reefs. Basically the cremated remains would be placed in the center of the memorial reef balls and then into the ocean near an artificial reef.
Quotes:
- “The Funeral director’s office was darkened, the only light coming from a couple of low desk lamps,’ says Brian. ‘The atmosphere was just so heavy and gloomy” (Harris, 51)
- “The casket Brian picks out for him mother is made of plain cardboard ($55), whose simplicity and low cost, he believes, best squares with her philosophy of life” (Harris, 52)
- “Janet knew she’d cast his ashes over the ocean that held his affection” (Harris, 70)
- “That would gain her not just the yacht and flowers for scattering, but two hours at sea, which would include a leisurely bay tour after the scattering” (Harris, 77)
- “Place memorial reefs near beach attractions and families are more likely to come back and remember their loved ones.” (Harris, 92)
Analysis:
I am glad that I am reading this book. The care of the dead is something that many may not be very knowledgeable on. For example, Janet’s ignorance is expressed as she knows very little about how a sea burial works, “Before Janet knew all the laws involved, she’d planned to simply rent a boat and scatter the ashes of her husband and brother off Dana Point, a coastal suburb of Los Angeles where she and Ted had bought a condo three blocks from the beach. Two weeks before the big event, her son John advised her to hold off. He’d just read a brochure of a small outfit that conducted sea burials…it knows-and follows-all the laws in a sea burial and is even licensed by the state to conduct scatterings” (Harris, 71). Firstly I was interested in the authors wording, “and it even licensed” saying it as though it was an extra point, while the license is actually mandatory for that occupation. The quote exemplifies how easy it can be for someone to make a mistake in handling their dead ones. This relates to the first third of the book because the book continues to show how ignorant people are when it comes to the care of the dead.
Reading the second third of the book was by far more enjoyable for me that the first. I am now beginning to actually enjoy what I read as I realize that it will, someday, be significant information to me being that death is one of the few things in life that we are guaranteed. It is inevitable and it will happen to us and to those around us. I am glad that I will not be ignorant, or at least as much as some others may be when the time comes to care for the dead. As I continue to learn things, I come closer to answering what is more of a personal essential question: ‘What do I want done with me when I die?’ Initially I leaned more towards the more typical way being a funeral with family gathered around etc, however now I am leaning towards cremation. An interesting line in the end of the chapter left me pondering about how my family would feel in contract to her, “Janet’s weeping, too, though not so much from sadness as from relief,” and she went on to say that, “It’s over now. It’s finished. I did what I came to do-and after all those years of holding these ashes I’m free… “I did a good thing today, and I’m at peace.” (Harris, 82-83). This was possibly the most powerful quote yet, in my opinion, because it best expressed the effect that the method used had on the people. In this case, the sea burial was a majestic and powerful experience that left the person that was feeling by far the most pain in her losses, brother and husband, feeling completely at peace. Aside from the cost, which is obviously a large factor, leaving my loved ones at such a peace even as I pass would be the best possible thing that I could do for them as we part.
In the second third of Grave Matters I focus on the more abstract ways to handle the care of the dead. I begin touching up on aspects of cremation, which is when the dead body is turned to ash. Families then decide what happens to the body, usually based on something with some type of significance to the person, or a last wish of the person. This leads to the burials at sea. These are usually of the cremated remains rather than a full body. The full body is significantly less common because it is much harder to carry out and is often avoided by the licensed cremated remains disposer since it is so difficult. The next method discussed was memorial reefs. Basically the cremated remains would be placed in the center of the memorial reef balls and then into the ocean near an artificial reef.
Quotes:
- “The Funeral director’s office was darkened, the only light coming from a couple of low desk lamps,’ says Brian. ‘The atmosphere was just so heavy and gloomy” (Harris, 51)
- “The casket Brian picks out for him mother is made of plain cardboard ($55), whose simplicity and low cost, he believes, best squares with her philosophy of life” (Harris, 52)
- “Janet knew she’d cast his ashes over the ocean that held his affection” (Harris, 70)
- “That would gain her not just the yacht and flowers for scattering, but two hours at sea, which would include a leisurely bay tour after the scattering” (Harris, 77)
- “Place memorial reefs near beach attractions and families are more likely to come back and remember their loved ones.” (Harris, 92)
Analysis:
I am glad that I am reading this book. The care of the dead is something that many may not be very knowledgeable on. For example, Janet’s ignorance is expressed as she knows very little about how a sea burial works, “Before Janet knew all the laws involved, she’d planned to simply rent a boat and scatter the ashes of her husband and brother off Dana Point, a coastal suburb of Los Angeles where she and Ted had bought a condo three blocks from the beach. Two weeks before the big event, her son John advised her to hold off. He’d just read a brochure of a small outfit that conducted sea burials…it knows-and follows-all the laws in a sea burial and is even licensed by the state to conduct scatterings” (Harris, 71). Firstly I was interested in the authors wording, “and it even licensed” saying it as though it was an extra point, while the license is actually mandatory for that occupation. The quote exemplifies how easy it can be for someone to make a mistake in handling their dead ones. This relates to the first third of the book because the book continues to show how ignorant people are when it comes to the care of the dead.
Reading the second third of the book was by far more enjoyable for me that the first. I am now beginning to actually enjoy what I read as I realize that it will, someday, be significant information to me being that death is one of the few things in life that we are guaranteed. It is inevitable and it will happen to us and to those around us. I am glad that I will not be ignorant, or at least as much as some others may be when the time comes to care for the dead. As I continue to learn things, I come closer to answering what is more of a personal essential question: ‘What do I want done with me when I die?’ Initially I leaned more towards the more typical way being a funeral with family gathered around etc, however now I am leaning towards cremation. An interesting line in the end of the chapter left me pondering about how my family would feel in contract to her, “Janet’s weeping, too, though not so much from sadness as from relief,” and she went on to say that, “It’s over now. It’s finished. I did what I came to do-and after all those years of holding these ashes I’m free… “I did a good thing today, and I’m at peace.” (Harris, 82-83). This was possibly the most powerful quote yet, in my opinion, because it best expressed the effect that the method used had on the people. In this case, the sea burial was a majestic and powerful experience that left the person that was feeling by far the most pain in her losses, brother and husband, feeling completely at peace. Aside from the cost, which is obviously a large factor, leaving my loved ones at such a peace even as I pass would be the best possible thing that I could do for them as we part.
Monday, May 2, 2011
HW 49 - Comments on Best of Your Break HW
From Max,
It is very interesting to me that your "acquaintance" felt like death was not something that should be discussed. Did you know this before you interviewed him? If not how did this in the end help you shape your blog post if it did at all. Overall a very thought provoking post.
From Jay,
Good post, good work. I like your analysis and application of your own opinions. You went into depth and your interviews were gold. Next time, you might wan't to proofread closly because there were a few mess ups.
From Larche,
Thought that getting to hear your peer's views on death from three different perspectives really helped you develop your own thoughts on the subject more. I like how you were able to take what your interviewees said and applied it to your own life and how you see death. The quote "It saddens me that one death can change so much" the interviews were touching and showed how each person was affected by death in their lives and how it has influenced their views on it and changed so much for them. You told each person's story in a way that I could connect to. Good job!
From Tia (protégé),
This was really good and interesting. It really made me think about how short life is. A few saying i liked and found interesting were: "Then again, pain is just a part of life so it may actually be worth the pain." & "If it is an open casket, I want it to be all me, all natural. I do not want makeup making me look any different."
awesome job =]
From Dad (mentor),
Death has always been a scary thought for me mainly for the fact that it is unkown what really happens afterwards. Sure there's a lot of theories out there which many believe in...but who really knows?! That being said, it's equally scary for me to think of leaving my loved ones behind...but I guess we all need to prepare for it, as this is the only sure thing in life! So enjoy it while we're here ;-)
____________________________________________________________________
Jay,
I found your blog very interesting as they tend to be. I feel like being that this is a topic that you actually know less about than the others, your interest allowed you to create deeper questions. I also liked your ideas on how the business is likely a good one since death is an inevitable part of life so there will always be business. “I presume that it is a very profitable industry, being that people die all the time.” Being that I also never though about the care of the dead very much, it never occurred to me how good of a business it must be. I agree with you on your views of the significance of caring for the dead as well, which was evident on the final line of your post. This was a very well written and fun to read post.
Larche,
I found your blog very engaging, as it seemed as if you put a lot of effort into it, particularly the interviews. I however, question the first person when he/she says, “I personally think that cremation is wrong. If there is nothing left of the body you can't say your prayers to it or you won't really have any proof of that being ever living...those burnt up ashes can be ashes of anything or anyone, but with a buried body you actually have proof that someone indeed passed on”. It seems to me that this person may have an issue with their own personal significance in the world, or at least that is how I interpret it. If someone dear to me passed, the last thing I would be doing is questioning their existence or looking for proof. I see it as an insecurity of theirs, so he/she desires physical evidence and wants that to exist when her/his time comes. One thing that you could have done to improve this post is add a personal perspective of some sort, however I felt it was a very strong post overall.
Max,
Unfortunately you seem to have closer experiences with death than most people had and for that I am sorry. Your blog seemed very straightforward and honest. I liked your wording and felt that it is a strong point in your writing that keeps me interested and engaged. In particular, “After this you could see the utter sadness in my fathers face and how emotional of a topic this was for him to speak on. I then asked him if he felt uncomfortable talking about his death.” Your word choice here helped me connect and even remember my tough moments, few as they were, with death. Your style of writing is strong here and helped to strengthen your very personal interviews. I could really feel the emotion that your interviewees, and likely yourself, felt as a result of the assignment. I recommend typing your blogs in word and copying and pasting after to avoid any minor grammar mistakes. Proofreading would also be very helpful. Overall this was a great blog.
Abdul,
I found your style of writing very engaging and I enjoyed reading this post. The connection I have (little shop of horrors) makes the reading more entertaining to me, which helped me pay closer attention to the work. I found it interesting how you were able to share an experience from so long ago and identify your ignorance. I connect to your work again, in the surprise of the cost of the whole funeral process. Reading the book Grave Matters by Mark Harris, there are several things that need to be paid for. It is sad that people have to worry about money while they mourn for their loved ones. Overall I felt that your blog was interesting and engaging however one simple way to strengthen your writing is proofreading. There were some careless grammar and wording errors that could have easily been avoided by simply proofreading.
It is very interesting to me that your "acquaintance" felt like death was not something that should be discussed. Did you know this before you interviewed him? If not how did this in the end help you shape your blog post if it did at all. Overall a very thought provoking post.
From Jay,
Good post, good work. I like your analysis and application of your own opinions. You went into depth and your interviews were gold. Next time, you might wan't to proofread closly because there were a few mess ups.
From Larche,
Thought that getting to hear your peer's views on death from three different perspectives really helped you develop your own thoughts on the subject more. I like how you were able to take what your interviewees said and applied it to your own life and how you see death. The quote "It saddens me that one death can change so much" the interviews were touching and showed how each person was affected by death in their lives and how it has influenced their views on it and changed so much for them. You told each person's story in a way that I could connect to. Good job!
From Tia (protégé),
This was really good and interesting. It really made me think about how short life is. A few saying i liked and found interesting were: "Then again, pain is just a part of life so it may actually be worth the pain." & "If it is an open casket, I want it to be all me, all natural. I do not want makeup making me look any different."
awesome job =]
From Dad (mentor),
Death has always been a scary thought for me mainly for the fact that it is unkown what really happens afterwards. Sure there's a lot of theories out there which many believe in...but who really knows?! That being said, it's equally scary for me to think of leaving my loved ones behind...but I guess we all need to prepare for it, as this is the only sure thing in life! So enjoy it while we're here ;-)
____________________________________________________________________
Jay,
I found your blog very interesting as they tend to be. I feel like being that this is a topic that you actually know less about than the others, your interest allowed you to create deeper questions. I also liked your ideas on how the business is likely a good one since death is an inevitable part of life so there will always be business. “I presume that it is a very profitable industry, being that people die all the time.” Being that I also never though about the care of the dead very much, it never occurred to me how good of a business it must be. I agree with you on your views of the significance of caring for the dead as well, which was evident on the final line of your post. This was a very well written and fun to read post.
Larche,
I found your blog very engaging, as it seemed as if you put a lot of effort into it, particularly the interviews. I however, question the first person when he/she says, “I personally think that cremation is wrong. If there is nothing left of the body you can't say your prayers to it or you won't really have any proof of that being ever living...those burnt up ashes can be ashes of anything or anyone, but with a buried body you actually have proof that someone indeed passed on”. It seems to me that this person may have an issue with their own personal significance in the world, or at least that is how I interpret it. If someone dear to me passed, the last thing I would be doing is questioning their existence or looking for proof. I see it as an insecurity of theirs, so he/she desires physical evidence and wants that to exist when her/his time comes. One thing that you could have done to improve this post is add a personal perspective of some sort, however I felt it was a very strong post overall.
Max,
Unfortunately you seem to have closer experiences with death than most people had and for that I am sorry. Your blog seemed very straightforward and honest. I liked your wording and felt that it is a strong point in your writing that keeps me interested and engaged. In particular, “After this you could see the utter sadness in my fathers face and how emotional of a topic this was for him to speak on. I then asked him if he felt uncomfortable talking about his death.” Your word choice here helped me connect and even remember my tough moments, few as they were, with death. Your style of writing is strong here and helped to strengthen your very personal interviews. I could really feel the emotion that your interviewees, and likely yourself, felt as a result of the assignment. I recommend typing your blogs in word and copying and pasting after to avoid any minor grammar mistakes. Proofreading would also be very helpful. Overall this was a great blog.
Abdul,
I found your style of writing very engaging and I enjoyed reading this post. The connection I have (little shop of horrors) makes the reading more entertaining to me, which helped me pay closer attention to the work. I found it interesting how you were able to share an experience from so long ago and identify your ignorance. I connect to your work again, in the surprise of the cost of the whole funeral process. Reading the book Grave Matters by Mark Harris, there are several things that need to be paid for. It is sad that people have to worry about money while they mourn for their loved ones. Overall I felt that your blog was interesting and engaging however one simple way to strengthen your writing is proofreading. There were some careless grammar and wording errors that could have easily been avoided by simply proofreading.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
HW 50 - First Third of Care-of-the-Dead Book Post
Précis: As I met with the Johnson after the premature death of their eighteen year old daughter. They, as nearly all the people who see me regarding business, were devastated. Like all my customers, I handled them delicately being sure not to force them into any potentially rash while still giving them a complete overview of what I had to offer to the care of their dead daughter. Once they made their decisions, I continued to embalm their daughter as I would with any other client.
Quotes:
- “Like most of his clients, the Johnsons don’t think to question Fielding's request to embalm, even though the GPL states that embalming isn’t required by law.” (Harris, 8)
- “Had the Johnsons known enough to ask fielding if he’d instead hold Jenny in a refrigeration unit until the viewing, which also would have slowed her decay (and at a fraction of the cost of embalming), Fielding would have said he doesn’t offer refrigeration because it won’t make Jenny look “nearly as good as she could be” in the casket” (Harris, 8-9)
- “What’s best really depends on personal preference and how one feels about the value of protecting a loved one, Fielding offers. “I’ll leave you now and let you peruse as much as you like. If you have any questions I’ll be just outside the door.” (Harris, 13)
These quotes remind me that although the matter is a very sensitive one, the care of the dead is still a business and that is Fielding’s primary goal here. He wants to make money and keep his customers happy.
Analysis:
One quote that I found very interesting which was on page 25, “he stipples onto her smooth, shaved face the kit’s pinker hues, to raise a blush he believes will complement the rose colors of the casket and her gown; he follows the makeup with light rouge… Using the prom picture as a guide, Feilding proceeds to darken the eyebrows with pencil and, after mixing a bit of cosmetic oil with her lipstick in the palm of his hand, paints the lips with a fine brush.” (Harris, 25) As in the previous birth unit, I find myself taking a serious interest in an aspect that some may say does not really matter. For the birth unit it was the idea of “cravings” and now it is the whole makeup deal with the dead. I suppose I understand the reasoning; however I guess I just do not agree. I think that one should be remember as they were most of the time. Generally people do not wear makeup constantly, so having excess makeup on the dead is wrong to me. Even with Jenny, the unfortunate teenager here a substantial amount of makeup is applied. This happens despite the fact that, “Fielding is not one to use a lot of makeup, and fortunately in this case he doesn’t have to.” (Harris, 25) Given the first quote in this paragraph, it sounds like more than enough makeup is applied. Wonder how much makeup this man puts in cases that are less fortunate and do need a lot of makeup.
The makeup point also challenges what the character Fielding himself said, that he wants Jenny to look like she was merely asleep and “at peace”. On page 18 the author states, “With his arsenal of tools, and techniques, he’s an illusionist who literally changes the face of death, transforming the ashen, lifeless corpses in his care into lifelike bodies at rest.” (Harris, 18) How many people do you know that wear makeup to sleep? Also, how many people have this calm image during their prom night? In society today prom can be one of the biggest events to someone. This being the case, they will want to live it up, not be calm and at rest, as Fielding claims are his goal in the embalmment and decoration of Jenny.
In addition to this, the entire embalming process interested me. The entire time I wondered what would be going through the mind of the operator, as Fielding was. How does doing the embalming differ from time to time, or from the first time doing it to all the others, or maybe even the last? Honestly it grossed me out at times. It just made me feel uncomfortable and I do not know how people with this occupation can stand it. In fact, I do not see what would motivate someone to take up this job. I do not see many pros to it, unless there is a great deal income as a result. I do not think I would ever even consider this as a job. I also wonder how people like Fielding remain emotionally unaffected at all by everything, from meeting the family, to hearing the sad stories, to the embalming, and to making them pay such a great deal of money to care for a dead loved one. In the end, I suppose it is just a business, “The total cost of the embalming, funeral, and burial of Jenny Johnson comes to $12,376.” (Harris, 14)
Quotes:
- “Like most of his clients, the Johnsons don’t think to question Fielding's request to embalm, even though the GPL states that embalming isn’t required by law.” (Harris, 8)
- “Had the Johnsons known enough to ask fielding if he’d instead hold Jenny in a refrigeration unit until the viewing, which also would have slowed her decay (and at a fraction of the cost of embalming), Fielding would have said he doesn’t offer refrigeration because it won’t make Jenny look “nearly as good as she could be” in the casket” (Harris, 8-9)
- “What’s best really depends on personal preference and how one feels about the value of protecting a loved one, Fielding offers. “I’ll leave you now and let you peruse as much as you like. If you have any questions I’ll be just outside the door.” (Harris, 13)
These quotes remind me that although the matter is a very sensitive one, the care of the dead is still a business and that is Fielding’s primary goal here. He wants to make money and keep his customers happy.
Analysis:
One quote that I found very interesting which was on page 25, “he stipples onto her smooth, shaved face the kit’s pinker hues, to raise a blush he believes will complement the rose colors of the casket and her gown; he follows the makeup with light rouge… Using the prom picture as a guide, Feilding proceeds to darken the eyebrows with pencil and, after mixing a bit of cosmetic oil with her lipstick in the palm of his hand, paints the lips with a fine brush.” (Harris, 25) As in the previous birth unit, I find myself taking a serious interest in an aspect that some may say does not really matter. For the birth unit it was the idea of “cravings” and now it is the whole makeup deal with the dead. I suppose I understand the reasoning; however I guess I just do not agree. I think that one should be remember as they were most of the time. Generally people do not wear makeup constantly, so having excess makeup on the dead is wrong to me. Even with Jenny, the unfortunate teenager here a substantial amount of makeup is applied. This happens despite the fact that, “Fielding is not one to use a lot of makeup, and fortunately in this case he doesn’t have to.” (Harris, 25) Given the first quote in this paragraph, it sounds like more than enough makeup is applied. Wonder how much makeup this man puts in cases that are less fortunate and do need a lot of makeup.
The makeup point also challenges what the character Fielding himself said, that he wants Jenny to look like she was merely asleep and “at peace”. On page 18 the author states, “With his arsenal of tools, and techniques, he’s an illusionist who literally changes the face of death, transforming the ashen, lifeless corpses in his care into lifelike bodies at rest.” (Harris, 18) How many people do you know that wear makeup to sleep? Also, how many people have this calm image during their prom night? In society today prom can be one of the biggest events to someone. This being the case, they will want to live it up, not be calm and at rest, as Fielding claims are his goal in the embalmment and decoration of Jenny.
In addition to this, the entire embalming process interested me. The entire time I wondered what would be going through the mind of the operator, as Fielding was. How does doing the embalming differ from time to time, or from the first time doing it to all the others, or maybe even the last? Honestly it grossed me out at times. It just made me feel uncomfortable and I do not know how people with this occupation can stand it. In fact, I do not see what would motivate someone to take up this job. I do not see many pros to it, unless there is a great deal income as a result. I do not think I would ever even consider this as a job. I also wonder how people like Fielding remain emotionally unaffected at all by everything, from meeting the family, to hearing the sad stories, to the embalming, and to making them pay such a great deal of money to care for a dead loved one. In the end, I suppose it is just a business, “The total cost of the embalming, funeral, and burial of Jenny Johnson comes to $12,376.” (Harris, 14)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
HW 48 - Family Perspectives on the Care of the Dead
Mother:
My mother was very brief in her responses. She said that the closest experience she had with death was that of her father. He died visiting his family in Puerto Rico, which possibly made it even more difficult to handle. He was cremated, but my mother did not seem to care very much about that. She really did not want to talk about the subject; however she mentioned that she wanted to be buried, unlike her father. I never truly understood the differences in being buried as opposed to cremated past the literal differences. What do they symbolize and how do they differ when considering personal opinion or religious aspects?
Grandmother:
Of all of my family members, my grandmother has likely the most experiences with death and the most devastating. She said that the closest experience that she had was with her younger brother, who was fighting illnesses that I am not sure of. She went to visit him in the hospital she said that “I could feel his end nearing as I held him in my arms. He died in my arms and that’s why my baby brother Allen was the closest and saddest experience that I had with death.” She meant this literally, as she was holding him in her arms when he passed.
My grandmother said that she is not sure how she wants to be handled when she dies. She is still debating cremation or being buried. Her main concern is the afterlife. My grandmother has become quite a religious person and she is very worried about her existence in the afterlife. She is Christian and wonders if being cremated will prevent her from having an afterlife. Despite her indecisiveness, she knows for sure that she wants people to remember her and to make a difference in the lives of my family and I. She always tries her hardest to set a positive example and help to make sure that we do not experience the same mistakes as she had.
Analysis:
I still wonder about many things after these interviews, mostly concerning my mother. I am aware that my grandfather sometimes struggled with his alcohol consumption and I wonder if, given that the alcohol issue played a role in his relatively youthful death, my mother had at all resented him because of that. I think at least to some extent that she had, or does. It may not be conscious as I’m sure she may think that she experienced mostly sadness and dread, but she is actually upset that he left her and he is responsible for it.
My uncle also had an alcohol issue. This must have make things unbearable for my grandmother, considering that both her husband and brother died as a result of same issue. Now, my grandmother never drinks. Obviously these deaths have played a role in her hatred towards alcoholic beverages as she has had hands-on experiences with alcohol and how deadly it really can be. Whenever a discussion of alcohol or alcoholism comes up, she refers to it as a disease. It is not simply a choice that one makes, it can easily become more than that. It becomes a disease that eats away at one’s life to a point where it is out of their control. It interests me that she describes the alcoholism this way. I think she may be describing it like this in an attempt to take some of the blame off of her husband and brother for allowing the “disease” to eat away at them. I do not personally understand how an addiction of that extent truly works, however looking from the outside in it seems like people always have choices. The choices that people make determine the path that they set on. One thing that upsets me is that if it was clear that this “disease” existed in their lives, why was a cure not sought out? There are rehabilitation centers to go to and I wonder why either my uncle or my grandfather was ever in one. This is something that to me, could potentially lead to more angry feelings towards them.
*The above two paragraphs discuss aspects of the interviewees lives that I felt were too sensitive or too personal to address with them. They would have likely become to sad or maybe even hostile to give thoughtful answer.
My mother was very brief in her responses. She said that the closest experience she had with death was that of her father. He died visiting his family in Puerto Rico, which possibly made it even more difficult to handle. He was cremated, but my mother did not seem to care very much about that. She really did not want to talk about the subject; however she mentioned that she wanted to be buried, unlike her father. I never truly understood the differences in being buried as opposed to cremated past the literal differences. What do they symbolize and how do they differ when considering personal opinion or religious aspects?
Grandmother:
Of all of my family members, my grandmother has likely the most experiences with death and the most devastating. She said that the closest experience that she had was with her younger brother, who was fighting illnesses that I am not sure of. She went to visit him in the hospital she said that “I could feel his end nearing as I held him in my arms. He died in my arms and that’s why my baby brother Allen was the closest and saddest experience that I had with death.” She meant this literally, as she was holding him in her arms when he passed.
My grandmother said that she is not sure how she wants to be handled when she dies. She is still debating cremation or being buried. Her main concern is the afterlife. My grandmother has become quite a religious person and she is very worried about her existence in the afterlife. She is Christian and wonders if being cremated will prevent her from having an afterlife. Despite her indecisiveness, she knows for sure that she wants people to remember her and to make a difference in the lives of my family and I. She always tries her hardest to set a positive example and help to make sure that we do not experience the same mistakes as she had.
Analysis:
I still wonder about many things after these interviews, mostly concerning my mother. I am aware that my grandfather sometimes struggled with his alcohol consumption and I wonder if, given that the alcohol issue played a role in his relatively youthful death, my mother had at all resented him because of that. I think at least to some extent that she had, or does. It may not be conscious as I’m sure she may think that she experienced mostly sadness and dread, but she is actually upset that he left her and he is responsible for it.
My uncle also had an alcohol issue. This must have make things unbearable for my grandmother, considering that both her husband and brother died as a result of same issue. Now, my grandmother never drinks. Obviously these deaths have played a role in her hatred towards alcoholic beverages as she has had hands-on experiences with alcohol and how deadly it really can be. Whenever a discussion of alcohol or alcoholism comes up, she refers to it as a disease. It is not simply a choice that one makes, it can easily become more than that. It becomes a disease that eats away at one’s life to a point where it is out of their control. It interests me that she describes the alcoholism this way. I think she may be describing it like this in an attempt to take some of the blame off of her husband and brother for allowing the “disease” to eat away at them. I do not personally understand how an addiction of that extent truly works, however looking from the outside in it seems like people always have choices. The choices that people make determine the path that they set on. One thing that upsets me is that if it was clear that this “disease” existed in their lives, why was a cure not sought out? There are rehabilitation centers to go to and I wonder why either my uncle or my grandfather was ever in one. This is something that to me, could potentially lead to more angry feelings towards them.
*The above two paragraphs discuss aspects of the interviewees lives that I felt were too sensitive or too personal to address with them. They would have likely become to sad or maybe even hostile to give thoughtful answer.
Monday, April 25, 2011
HW 47 - Peer Perspectives on the Care of the Dead (THIS ONE FOR COMMENTS)
Anthony Vargas, close friend:
Possibly my closest friend, Anthony Vargas was the first person that I interviewed. He has similar responses to the care of the dead as I had, not having put much thought into the subject either. He said that his parents taught him to respect the dead and that he had one very personal experience with death, which was his grandfather. Being a close friend of his, I was aware of when his grandfather died. He was devastated, as I suspect anyone would be if they were close to their grandfather. Anthony also said that he wants to be buried and have an open casket. He wants to be remembered and for those who love him to be able to see him one last time. I wonder if this is actually good for them or just causes more pain. Although his loved ones will undoubtedly want to see him again, it may just cause them more pain knowing that they will never see him again after that. Then again, pain is just a part of life so it may actually be worth the pain.
Julian Baez, a friend of a friend:
This person is more like an acquaintance to me, I have known him for a while but we are not really friends. He feels that death is not something to be discussed. It is a topic that brings back dreadful, painful memories of loved ones. He likely feels this way being that he lost his mother sometime last year and now lives alone with his father. A lot has changes since parting with his mother, and he seemed to get sadder just by speaking of the event. He also said that his father had gone through a lot of change in losing his wife, which does not surprise me. His father now drinks much more than he used to, and is not home much either. He seems to ignore his responsibilities and an adult and as a father. It saddens me that one death can change so much.
Joshua Barbosa, similar background:
Josh and I are friends and we grew up together, living on the same block. Our families were even close friends. This made it a lot easier to have a friendship. Our families were in very similar situations, his father was not around and I saw mine occasionally. Both of our mothers were very young and very busy, so our grandparents spent most of the time raising us. Things have changed for me however, as I have moved away from the neighborhood and now live with my father. Sadly, the only change for him has been the death of his grandmother. She was more like a mother to him than his own mother. Josh was unarguably the most damaged from the loss than any of the previous interviewees. He entered a depression and even stopped going to school. He felt as if his life was pointless. Just speaking about the matter, he began to stream tears. I decided not to ask any further questions given the emotional breakdown that my peer was experiencing.
I went to his grandmother’s funeral and there was an open casket. This was my first and only time seeing a dead person up close. I was shocked in the woman that I saw. There was so much different about her, she hardly looked the same. There was so much makeup on her and it was not even like I was looking at the person that I remember. In addition to this, being that she was dead obviously took away the cheer that had always just radiated from her. She made people around her happy and it was weird being in a room full of sadness with her there.
These interviews reminded me of how fortunate I have been not to have any people close to me pass away. I cannot even imagine losing my mother, grandfather, or grandmother. It would tear me apart. Despite this, I feel that my family and I would handle the situations differently that the interviewees and their families had. I feel that if my mother or stepmother were to die, my stepfather or father would, rather than allowing the death to eat him apart, somehow turn it into their favor. It would be some sort of motivation to do better in his life, for the sake of their wife. I feel that if my grandmother were to die, I would try even harder in school than I ever had before. I would want to do it for her because I know that she always wanted me to succeed. I would be more motivated.
When it comes to being cared for post death, I would, like Anthony, want to be buried with a closed casket. The closed casket is due to the way that Josh’s grandmother was cared for. I do not want to be seen as something I am not. If it is an open casket, I want it to be all me, all natural. I do not want makeup making me look any different. I do not want to be cremated because I feel that I would be better remembered this way. For my great - great grand children and so on, to be able to know who I was and what I was to them. My views may change however because my being remembered may only cause pain to those that remember me, at least those that knew me. This may make me reconsider what I want done with me when I am gone. I do not wish to be remembered if it is at the expense of another.
Possibly my closest friend, Anthony Vargas was the first person that I interviewed. He has similar responses to the care of the dead as I had, not having put much thought into the subject either. He said that his parents taught him to respect the dead and that he had one very personal experience with death, which was his grandfather. Being a close friend of his, I was aware of when his grandfather died. He was devastated, as I suspect anyone would be if they were close to their grandfather. Anthony also said that he wants to be buried and have an open casket. He wants to be remembered and for those who love him to be able to see him one last time. I wonder if this is actually good for them or just causes more pain. Although his loved ones will undoubtedly want to see him again, it may just cause them more pain knowing that they will never see him again after that. Then again, pain is just a part of life so it may actually be worth the pain.
Julian Baez, a friend of a friend:
This person is more like an acquaintance to me, I have known him for a while but we are not really friends. He feels that death is not something to be discussed. It is a topic that brings back dreadful, painful memories of loved ones. He likely feels this way being that he lost his mother sometime last year and now lives alone with his father. A lot has changes since parting with his mother, and he seemed to get sadder just by speaking of the event. He also said that his father had gone through a lot of change in losing his wife, which does not surprise me. His father now drinks much more than he used to, and is not home much either. He seems to ignore his responsibilities and an adult and as a father. It saddens me that one death can change so much.
Joshua Barbosa, similar background:
Josh and I are friends and we grew up together, living on the same block. Our families were even close friends. This made it a lot easier to have a friendship. Our families were in very similar situations, his father was not around and I saw mine occasionally. Both of our mothers were very young and very busy, so our grandparents spent most of the time raising us. Things have changed for me however, as I have moved away from the neighborhood and now live with my father. Sadly, the only change for him has been the death of his grandmother. She was more like a mother to him than his own mother. Josh was unarguably the most damaged from the loss than any of the previous interviewees. He entered a depression and even stopped going to school. He felt as if his life was pointless. Just speaking about the matter, he began to stream tears. I decided not to ask any further questions given the emotional breakdown that my peer was experiencing.
I went to his grandmother’s funeral and there was an open casket. This was my first and only time seeing a dead person up close. I was shocked in the woman that I saw. There was so much different about her, she hardly looked the same. There was so much makeup on her and it was not even like I was looking at the person that I remember. In addition to this, being that she was dead obviously took away the cheer that had always just radiated from her. She made people around her happy and it was weird being in a room full of sadness with her there.
These interviews reminded me of how fortunate I have been not to have any people close to me pass away. I cannot even imagine losing my mother, grandfather, or grandmother. It would tear me apart. Despite this, I feel that my family and I would handle the situations differently that the interviewees and their families had. I feel that if my mother or stepmother were to die, my stepfather or father would, rather than allowing the death to eat him apart, somehow turn it into their favor. It would be some sort of motivation to do better in his life, for the sake of their wife. I feel that if my grandmother were to die, I would try even harder in school than I ever had before. I would want to do it for her because I know that she always wanted me to succeed. I would be more motivated.
When it comes to being cared for post death, I would, like Anthony, want to be buried with a closed casket. The closed casket is due to the way that Josh’s grandmother was cared for. I do not want to be seen as something I am not. If it is an open casket, I want it to be all me, all natural. I do not want makeup making me look any different. I do not want to be cremated because I feel that I would be better remembered this way. For my great - great grand children and so on, to be able to know who I was and what I was to them. My views may change however because my being remembered may only cause pain to those that remember me, at least those that knew me. This may make me reconsider what I want done with me when I am gone. I do not wish to be remembered if it is at the expense of another.
Monday, April 18, 2011
HW 46 - Initial Thoughts on the Care of the Dead
Fortunately I have not had a lot of experience with the care of the dead. This is something that I am not very familiar with or have put much thought into. Although my experiences are very limited I had one that stood out to me. When I went to my best friend’s grandmothers’ funeral, it was open casket. When I saw her, it was as if I was looking at a different person. It was like looking into a broken mirror. There was so much makeup on her and she was so still. It was my first time ever seeing a dead person up close. It was actually scary and although I was expecting something devastating, I felt a distinctive feeling that I cannot describe. It made my stomach turn, and this is what comes to mind when I think about or reminisce on my experiences with the care of the dead.
Generally I do not think that society puts much thought into the care of the dead. Personally, I do not see the significance in this study. I am very interested to see the different aspects of the care and how they contrast. I predict that we will do a lot of investigative work on how religions handle the care of the dead differently. Things that I look forward to are seeing how this unit will be different from the illness and dying unit. It is clear to be that there is a distinction between the topics however I wonder how Andy will make them less related. The thing I really look forward to is doing the end of the unit project, where I will likely do an experiential assignment as I have with the previous units. I am probably even less knowledgeable on the contents of this unit than I had been on the others. This makes me more interested in what I will learn.
Generally I do not think that society puts much thought into the care of the dead. Personally, I do not see the significance in this study. I am very interested to see the different aspects of the care and how they contrast. I predict that we will do a lot of investigative work on how religions handle the care of the dead differently. Things that I look forward to are seeing how this unit will be different from the illness and dying unit. It is clear to be that there is a distinction between the topics however I wonder how Andy will make them less related. The thing I really look forward to is doing the end of the unit project, where I will likely do an experiential assignment as I have with the previous units. I am probably even less knowledgeable on the contents of this unit than I had been on the others. This makes me more interested in what I will learn.
Friday, April 15, 2011
HW 45 - Reply to Other Peoples' Comments
Megumi,
Thank you for your comment. I too found this experience helpful and interesting. One thing that I advise you to do in your future comments, or even your own work if it applies is to be more elaborate. When you said “I find a relief in a way” I wonder what kind of relief you felt and why. I appreciate your comment, thanks.
Leticia,
Thanks for your comment. I feel like you actually spent time reading and thinking about my blog and I appreciate this. I like that also like your initial comedic tone that was expressed in your curiosity, which made me more interested in what you had to say. One thing that you can do to improve your comments in the future is include constructive criticism. Thanks again for your comment, it was fun to read.
Amhara,
Thanks for your comment. I like that you read my blog despite not hearing my elevator speech and being that I am unfamiliar with your writing, I was more interested to see it. Including constructive criticism would make your comments better. Thanks for your comment.
Thank you for your comment. I too found this experience helpful and interesting. One thing that I advise you to do in your future comments, or even your own work if it applies is to be more elaborate. When you said “I find a relief in a way” I wonder what kind of relief you felt and why. I appreciate your comment, thanks.
Leticia,
Thanks for your comment. I feel like you actually spent time reading and thinking about my blog and I appreciate this. I like that also like your initial comedic tone that was expressed in your curiosity, which made me more interested in what you had to say. One thing that you can do to improve your comments in the future is include constructive criticism. Thanks again for your comment, it was fun to read.
Amhara,
Thanks for your comment. I like that you read my blog despite not hearing my elevator speech and being that I am unfamiliar with your writing, I was more interested to see it. Including constructive criticism would make your comments better. Thanks for your comment.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
HW 44 - Comments on Other People's Projects
To Jay,
In my blog I wrote short summaries of the interviews rather than the actual dialogue. Both methods can have pros and cons however I think the dialogue makes it easier and more fun for the reader. I did not even think of that. The most insightful thing in your blog had to be the last nurses’ comment, “N: In my country, most babies were born in homebirths, but it is a different culture. Personally, I would feel more safe in a hospital, knowing there is medical equipment on site and rooms for surgery. It's more appealing.” This makes me question the education that doctors receive, even with all that schooling. One thing that you should have done to make this blog better is include some sort of response that you had after each interview. This would have given the reader something potentially more interesting to think about. I’m sure that you had interesting reactions to some of the things that were said.
To Larche,
I though your blog was very interesting and I enjoyed reading it because it was not very long while being informal. I particularly liked that it was a topic that I suspect many people did not research. In my opinion, the most insightful thing in your blog was, “That having them around them is somehow going to negatively affect them. This makes those who suffer from infertility question why they deserved this. Why do they deserve to be treated differently from other women because of their inability to reproduce. This leads them to having feelings of “there’s something wrong with me.” This made me realize how there can be many imperfections in life and some are more significant to certain people than others. One thing that you could have done to make your blog better was simply to proofread it. There were some careless errors that could have easily been avoided. I recommend typing in word then copying and pasting to limit them if you know your not going to proofread.
To Michelle,
I thought your blog was very good. Of the blogs that I have read, your by far educated me the most. I could tell that you really put a lot of effort into your work and it reflects that effort. The most insightful aspect to me was, “After all this research, I still cannot make a generalization of how all Indian men are not being present during the woman’s childbirth. Although there was certainly a correlation between the men and women who were more traditional and religious who did not allow father to be present during delivery while those who weren’t had the male/father there. Just like in the U.S. we see TV and how father is always there in delivery room, how can we be so sure that during most of these births that the father is present? We cannot generalize because of the different views one country can have, especially in the US “the melting pot” with so many ideas, cultures and religions how can one infer that the father is always present, and even if he is there the extent of his ability to comfort her will differ.” This really gave me the feeling that you put thought into your writing and were not very judgmental or critical on the males. One thing that you should try not to do as much is use the word “so” because it can sometimes degrade take the formal tone of your work. Also, first paragraph may not have been necessary or very relevant to your actual topic. However if you are including this information, you should try to make a smoother transition as you change topics. Despite this, I thought it was an interesting addition to your work and a good hook. Your blog was overall one of the best I read.
From Megumi,
For this project, you had the experience of being able to interview three women at a hospital about their opinion on midwifery, obsterics, and the rise in c-section. I really enjoyed reading this post in addition to listening to your elevator speech. The three women you interviewed had different reactions and opinions which was very interesting. This matters to me because its always nice to listen to the opinion of the people who actually work in hospitals. I found it suprising that one of the interviewed women was open about her opinions about midwifery, and I find a relief in a way.
From Leticia (“Lp”),
Hi Rossi, I don’t know you and I don’t think you are in my grade?..I’m in 12th you?. Well I was snooping around and I saw your name and I said Why not!. MY name is leticia. I really liked your blog because I never heard a prospective from a nurse. I liked the questions you asked because; it gets into details with what the nurse thinks. For person #1 ... I like the line when she mentioned "used “judiciously” and to a doctor or patients liking. She claimed that patients may have a cesarean on a certain day just so that they would not be in the hospital on another" I think that explains, the point of doctors ability to do what they please and get the mothers out as soon as possible. For person # 2 I liked how she backed up the hospital, it explains she is either against it or with it but she is scared, she could lose her job "When asked about C-section rates, she said that Roosevelt hospital has the lowest C-section rates in the city. “Do you think if you interview outside the hospital it would have been different. For person #3 I liked how she was honest and straight forward. I liked she compared Jamaica and US she was not saying one is better than other. I also liked when she mentioned “it’s not that the doctors are not properly trained, they just are not fully educated.” In saying this she agreed that they handle situations as if they are in emergency and said that the trainings for doctors should be different. During her training she was trained like a midwife and working in the field that she does, surrounded by doctors and many unnatural births she said that they are just accustomed to the emergency situations" Which made ask do doctors want to know how to do natural birth? or are they force to not be educated about it.?. Overall I think you did a good job, Its nice to hear from people who work in the hospital,. This made me feel that doctors of a sense of people views.
From Amhara,
I believe the most effective way to learn is through experiences so it was smart of you to go out of your way and converse with these nurses for a real honest outlook on this medical system. The voices of the nurses are very un-sung so it was nice to see their perspective. Based on these answers it seems that a nurse's main objective is to be protective; either of the women and newborns, the doctors, or the hospitals. These nurses seemed to be very informed about their area of interest and are definitely aware of what goes on behind the scenes. I'm glad that they are there and hopefully they keep the obstetricians they work with very grounded.
From Dad,
With the birth of my second child just two months ago, I can most certainly say I am all for modern technology and medicine. My greatest fear was the thought of losing my wife or child during childbirth. Not having done any actual research on this subject, but I'm pretty sure deaths from complications to mother and/or child is a lot less common these days, and I truly believe it is due to modern medicine. Not that complications still will not arise today, but to me the utilization of modern technology and medicine minimizes a tragic outcome. As for C-sections, the fact that the cost is rising is disturbing. I do feel that doctors use this method only if it is necessary and in the best interest healthwise for mother and child. Hopefully the rising cost of this procedure does not affect a woman's decision as they do still have to give consent, and may lean towards vaginal birth, although it may not be the best for the baby. This may hold especially true when it comes to mothers w/out medical insurance. In the case of epidural; it was the only thing that gave my wife comfort, so I'm all for it. To me, the more comfortable a mother is during birth, it will result in a much less stressful experience for mom and baby.
In my blog I wrote short summaries of the interviews rather than the actual dialogue. Both methods can have pros and cons however I think the dialogue makes it easier and more fun for the reader. I did not even think of that. The most insightful thing in your blog had to be the last nurses’ comment, “N: In my country, most babies were born in homebirths, but it is a different culture. Personally, I would feel more safe in a hospital, knowing there is medical equipment on site and rooms for surgery. It's more appealing.” This makes me question the education that doctors receive, even with all that schooling. One thing that you should have done to make this blog better is include some sort of response that you had after each interview. This would have given the reader something potentially more interesting to think about. I’m sure that you had interesting reactions to some of the things that were said.
To Larche,
I though your blog was very interesting and I enjoyed reading it because it was not very long while being informal. I particularly liked that it was a topic that I suspect many people did not research. In my opinion, the most insightful thing in your blog was, “That having them around them is somehow going to negatively affect them. This makes those who suffer from infertility question why they deserved this. Why do they deserve to be treated differently from other women because of their inability to reproduce. This leads them to having feelings of “there’s something wrong with me.” This made me realize how there can be many imperfections in life and some are more significant to certain people than others. One thing that you could have done to make your blog better was simply to proofread it. There were some careless errors that could have easily been avoided. I recommend typing in word then copying and pasting to limit them if you know your not going to proofread.
To Michelle,
I thought your blog was very good. Of the blogs that I have read, your by far educated me the most. I could tell that you really put a lot of effort into your work and it reflects that effort. The most insightful aspect to me was, “After all this research, I still cannot make a generalization of how all Indian men are not being present during the woman’s childbirth. Although there was certainly a correlation between the men and women who were more traditional and religious who did not allow father to be present during delivery while those who weren’t had the male/father there. Just like in the U.S. we see TV and how father is always there in delivery room, how can we be so sure that during most of these births that the father is present? We cannot generalize because of the different views one country can have, especially in the US “the melting pot” with so many ideas, cultures and religions how can one infer that the father is always present, and even if he is there the extent of his ability to comfort her will differ.” This really gave me the feeling that you put thought into your writing and were not very judgmental or critical on the males. One thing that you should try not to do as much is use the word “so” because it can sometimes degrade take the formal tone of your work. Also, first paragraph may not have been necessary or very relevant to your actual topic. However if you are including this information, you should try to make a smoother transition as you change topics. Despite this, I thought it was an interesting addition to your work and a good hook. Your blog was overall one of the best I read.
From Megumi,
For this project, you had the experience of being able to interview three women at a hospital about their opinion on midwifery, obsterics, and the rise in c-section. I really enjoyed reading this post in addition to listening to your elevator speech. The three women you interviewed had different reactions and opinions which was very interesting. This matters to me because its always nice to listen to the opinion of the people who actually work in hospitals. I found it suprising that one of the interviewed women was open about her opinions about midwifery, and I find a relief in a way.
From Leticia (“Lp”),
Hi Rossi, I don’t know you and I don’t think you are in my grade?..I’m in 12th you?. Well I was snooping around and I saw your name and I said Why not!. MY name is leticia. I really liked your blog because I never heard a prospective from a nurse. I liked the questions you asked because; it gets into details with what the nurse thinks. For person #1 ... I like the line when she mentioned "used “judiciously” and to a doctor or patients liking. She claimed that patients may have a cesarean on a certain day just so that they would not be in the hospital on another" I think that explains, the point of doctors ability to do what they please and get the mothers out as soon as possible. For person # 2 I liked how she backed up the hospital, it explains she is either against it or with it but she is scared, she could lose her job "When asked about C-section rates, she said that Roosevelt hospital has the lowest C-section rates in the city. “Do you think if you interview outside the hospital it would have been different. For person #3 I liked how she was honest and straight forward. I liked she compared Jamaica and US she was not saying one is better than other. I also liked when she mentioned “it’s not that the doctors are not properly trained, they just are not fully educated.” In saying this she agreed that they handle situations as if they are in emergency and said that the trainings for doctors should be different. During her training she was trained like a midwife and working in the field that she does, surrounded by doctors and many unnatural births she said that they are just accustomed to the emergency situations" Which made ask do doctors want to know how to do natural birth? or are they force to not be educated about it.?. Overall I think you did a good job, Its nice to hear from people who work in the hospital,. This made me feel that doctors of a sense of people views.
From Amhara,
I believe the most effective way to learn is through experiences so it was smart of you to go out of your way and converse with these nurses for a real honest outlook on this medical system. The voices of the nurses are very un-sung so it was nice to see their perspective. Based on these answers it seems that a nurse's main objective is to be protective; either of the women and newborns, the doctors, or the hospitals. These nurses seemed to be very informed about their area of interest and are definitely aware of what goes on behind the scenes. I'm glad that they are there and hopefully they keep the obstetricians they work with very grounded.
From Dad,
With the birth of my second child just two months ago, I can most certainly say I am all for modern technology and medicine. My greatest fear was the thought of losing my wife or child during childbirth. Not having done any actual research on this subject, but I'm pretty sure deaths from complications to mother and/or child is a lot less common these days, and I truly believe it is due to modern medicine. Not that complications still will not arise today, but to me the utilization of modern technology and medicine minimizes a tragic outcome. As for C-sections, the fact that the cost is rising is disturbing. I do feel that doctors use this method only if it is necessary and in the best interest healthwise for mother and child. Hopefully the rising cost of this procedure does not affect a woman's decision as they do still have to give consent, and may lean towards vaginal birth, although it may not be the best for the baby. This may hold especially true when it comes to mothers w/out medical insurance. In the case of epidural; it was the only thing that gave my wife comfort, so I'm all for it. To me, the more comfortable a mother is during birth, it will result in a much less stressful experience for mom and baby.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
HW#42
My peers Anthony Vargas, Jay McCarthy and I decided to have a personal experience for the assignment. We went to St. Luke's Roosevelt hospital on 59th street, 10th av and spoke with three nurses about their views concerning birth and the practices surrounding it. Here are the core questions that were asked (some improvising was done during the process):
-What inspired you to choose this occupation and/or what do you enjoy most about it?
-How do you feel about the rising rates of cesarean sections?
-Do you think the use of epidural and pitocin is more beneficial to the mothers and their child or to the doctors? Why/why not?
-How do you feel about midwifery and homebirths?
-Do you think that it’s right that doctors are generally trained as if every birth was an emergency situation? Why/why not?
Person #1:
This nurse was very honest and straightforward with her answers as she seemed to be fine with our asking the questions. She enjoys the occupation because she genuinely cares about helping women and children. This woman was interesting, because she seemed to lean towards midwives rather than obstetricians despite her occupation. She mentioned that she did not support the rise in Cesareans, stating that they were used “judiciously” and to a doctor or patients liking. She claimed that patients may have a cesarean on a certain day just so that they would not be in the hospital on another. I agree with her because a c-section should not be some kind of luxury to someone, it should only be used in cases where it is vital. This woman also disputed the use of epidural and pitocin. She felt that it is a bad decision to use it and in cases where it is used it should be the minimum, “so rather than using six shots use two.” In her talk of midwifery she mentioned “The Business of Being Born” and spoke of how it was a great movie, stating that she felt midwives are able to handle births just as well and any doctor would. In fact, she gave birth via midwife to both of her kids and, surprisingly enough, without the use of any drugs. When it came to the training of the doctors, she felt that at the end of the day the most important thing with the birth is that the baby gets out okay, regardless of the process. Despite expressing that, “birth is one of the most natural processes and it should go back to being that way” she still felt that the most important thing all in all, is that the baby gets out safely. When asked about the training of the doctors, she felt that at the end of the day the most important thing with the birth is that the baby gets out okay, regardless of the process. Despite expressing that, “birth is one of the most natural processes and it should go back to being that way” she still felt that the most important thing all in all, is that the baby gets out safely. This makes me wonder what life she would choose if given an ultimatum: the mother or the child?
Person #2:
This woman was by far the vaguest of all the interviewees. The seemed uncomfortable, possibly because of the room we were in (a slightly smaller room than the last, about a forth of Andy’s) or because she may have felt pressured by us. Her job title was the director of parent and family education and she chose this occupation because she feels that it is very important for patients to be knowledgeable on the subject. I wonder if the information provided by her is biased towards the obstetricians, her responses give reason to question how impartial her ‘education’ may be. She was consistently evasive in her responses and avoided saying anything that may undermine obstetricians. When asked about C-section rates, she said that Roosevelt hospital has the lowest C-section rates in the city. This is an interesting statistic and I wonder if this is true (although I could not find any recent and reliable sources to verify, that does not mean that she is a liar, I am simply a poor researcher). When asked about midwifery, she simply said that “it is great” and elected not to elaborate. She came off almost defensive when asked about the doctors training and said that doctors are trained to handle every situation they are given. She claimed that they are prepared to handle both normal and high risk situations.
Person #3:
This woman was arguably the most helpful of the three. She chose the profession out of a childhood desire to learn about birth and how it all worked, which has lead her to being the manager of the nurses department. She was honest and by far the most elaborate with all of her answers. She only supports cesareans in situations of necessity. With homebirths, she said that they are “prevalent” in her country (Jamaica) and that she still supports them. When it came to speaking about the training of the obstetricians, she said that “it’s not that the doctors are not properly trained, they just are not fully educated.” In saying this she agreed that they handle situations as if they are in emergency and said that the trainings for doctors should be different. During her training she was trained like a midwife and working in the field that she does, surrounded by doctors and many unnatural births she said that they are just accustomed to the emergency situations. This made me wonder what the point of so much schooling to be a doctor is if the majority of them are not able to handle a ‘normal’ birth situation. This also makes me wonder about the recent birth of my almost two month old baby brother. I was at the hospital with my family post-delivery and was told that everything went smoothly. I then learned that the birth was via a cesarean and wondered why, although I never got around to having that conversation. My stepmother and her doctor are just another example of how cesareans are abused in this generation of mothers and doctors are not as knowledgeable as they should be and do not appreciate the ‘birthing experience.’
-What inspired you to choose this occupation and/or what do you enjoy most about it?
-How do you feel about the rising rates of cesarean sections?
-Do you think the use of epidural and pitocin is more beneficial to the mothers and their child or to the doctors? Why/why not?
-How do you feel about midwifery and homebirths?
-Do you think that it’s right that doctors are generally trained as if every birth was an emergency situation? Why/why not?
Person #1:
This nurse was very honest and straightforward with her answers as she seemed to be fine with our asking the questions. She enjoys the occupation because she genuinely cares about helping women and children. This woman was interesting, because she seemed to lean towards midwives rather than obstetricians despite her occupation. She mentioned that she did not support the rise in Cesareans, stating that they were used “judiciously” and to a doctor or patients liking. She claimed that patients may have a cesarean on a certain day just so that they would not be in the hospital on another. I agree with her because a c-section should not be some kind of luxury to someone, it should only be used in cases where it is vital. This woman also disputed the use of epidural and pitocin. She felt that it is a bad decision to use it and in cases where it is used it should be the minimum, “so rather than using six shots use two.” In her talk of midwifery she mentioned “The Business of Being Born” and spoke of how it was a great movie, stating that she felt midwives are able to handle births just as well and any doctor would. In fact, she gave birth via midwife to both of her kids and, surprisingly enough, without the use of any drugs. When it came to the training of the doctors, she felt that at the end of the day the most important thing with the birth is that the baby gets out okay, regardless of the process. Despite expressing that, “birth is one of the most natural processes and it should go back to being that way” she still felt that the most important thing all in all, is that the baby gets out safely. When asked about the training of the doctors, she felt that at the end of the day the most important thing with the birth is that the baby gets out okay, regardless of the process. Despite expressing that, “birth is one of the most natural processes and it should go back to being that way” she still felt that the most important thing all in all, is that the baby gets out safely. This makes me wonder what life she would choose if given an ultimatum: the mother or the child?
Person #2:
This woman was by far the vaguest of all the interviewees. The seemed uncomfortable, possibly because of the room we were in (a slightly smaller room than the last, about a forth of Andy’s) or because she may have felt pressured by us. Her job title was the director of parent and family education and she chose this occupation because she feels that it is very important for patients to be knowledgeable on the subject. I wonder if the information provided by her is biased towards the obstetricians, her responses give reason to question how impartial her ‘education’ may be. She was consistently evasive in her responses and avoided saying anything that may undermine obstetricians. When asked about C-section rates, she said that Roosevelt hospital has the lowest C-section rates in the city. This is an interesting statistic and I wonder if this is true (although I could not find any recent and reliable sources to verify, that does not mean that she is a liar, I am simply a poor researcher). When asked about midwifery, she simply said that “it is great” and elected not to elaborate. She came off almost defensive when asked about the doctors training and said that doctors are trained to handle every situation they are given. She claimed that they are prepared to handle both normal and high risk situations.
Person #3:
This woman was arguably the most helpful of the three. She chose the profession out of a childhood desire to learn about birth and how it all worked, which has lead her to being the manager of the nurses department. She was honest and by far the most elaborate with all of her answers. She only supports cesareans in situations of necessity. With homebirths, she said that they are “prevalent” in her country (Jamaica) and that she still supports them. When it came to speaking about the training of the obstetricians, she said that “it’s not that the doctors are not properly trained, they just are not fully educated.” In saying this she agreed that they handle situations as if they are in emergency and said that the trainings for doctors should be different. During her training she was trained like a midwife and working in the field that she does, surrounded by doctors and many unnatural births she said that they are just accustomed to the emergency situations. This made me wonder what the point of so much schooling to be a doctor is if the majority of them are not able to handle a ‘normal’ birth situation. This also makes me wonder about the recent birth of my almost two month old baby brother. I was at the hospital with my family post-delivery and was told that everything went smoothly. I then learned that the birth was via a cesarean and wondered why, although I never got around to having that conversation. My stepmother and her doctor are just another example of how cesareans are abused in this generation of mothers and doctors are not as knowledgeable as they should be and do not appreciate the ‘birthing experience.’
Friday, April 1, 2011
HW #40
"Hey Tina Cassidy thanks for writing Birth. Your reflection on the history of birth with unique connections from several different perspectives really got me to rethink my ideas on birth and how it is usually handled in contrast to if that is actually the best way.”
"Really, which parts were most effective or important for you?"
"Well, in the last third of the book you focused on the father's role in birth and what they go through physically, mentally, and emotionally in the months while their partner is pregnant and the moments of delivery”
Specifically,
1. Studies show that when the father is there to comfort the mother, she actually tends to be significantly more relaxed throughout the process (Cassidy, 198)
2. The father’s role in birth is now a necessity rather than an option. I feel that to some extent their role was always a necessity, people just never realized. Children without a male role model in their life are more likely to have childhood struggles than those who do. (Cassidy, 207)
3. How breast - feeding impacts the mother and/or the child (Cassidy, 236)
"But what could I have done to make this a better book - that would more effectively fulfill its mission?"
"Well, let's be clear - your text sought to provide narratives from the perspective of a mother just having given birth for the book-reading-public to better understand pregnancy & birth in our culture. In a second edition I feel that it would be a good improvement to try not to linger on one thing for too long. Generally you did a good job at this, however there were some things parts where you did. However I don't want you to feel like I'm criticizing. I appreciate the immense amount of labor you dedicated to this important issue and particularly for making me think about the history of birth & the way that society generally approaches birth, as most people do not even consider midwives. In fact, I'm likely to approach birth differently and more open minded as a result of your book."
"Thanks! Talking to you gives me hope about our future as a society!"
"Really, which parts were most effective or important for you?"
"Well, in the last third of the book you focused on the father's role in birth and what they go through physically, mentally, and emotionally in the months while their partner is pregnant and the moments of delivery”
Specifically,
1. Studies show that when the father is there to comfort the mother, she actually tends to be significantly more relaxed throughout the process (Cassidy, 198)
2. The father’s role in birth is now a necessity rather than an option. I feel that to some extent their role was always a necessity, people just never realized. Children without a male role model in their life are more likely to have childhood struggles than those who do. (Cassidy, 207)
3. How breast - feeding impacts the mother and/or the child (Cassidy, 236)
"But what could I have done to make this a better book - that would more effectively fulfill its mission?"
"Well, let's be clear - your text sought to provide narratives from the perspective of a mother just having given birth for the book-reading-public to better understand pregnancy & birth in our culture. In a second edition I feel that it would be a good improvement to try not to linger on one thing for too long. Generally you did a good job at this, however there were some things parts where you did. However I don't want you to feel like I'm criticizing. I appreciate the immense amount of labor you dedicated to this important issue and particularly for making me think about the history of birth & the way that society generally approaches birth, as most people do not even consider midwives. In fact, I'm likely to approach birth differently and more open minded as a result of your book."
"Thanks! Talking to you gives me hope about our future as a society!"
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
HW 39 - Insights from Book - Part 2
Cassidy, Tina. Birth. NY,NY: Grove Press,
2006. Print.
1. I do not recall the movie, “Business of Being Born” making any references to symphyseotomies. Basically what happens here in a symphyseotomy is when the doctor cuts through the woman’s pubic bone, them through her clitoris and labia, and then finally through her urethra. The cartilage in the bone is then divided spreading the pelvis somewhere between two and three inches. Despite referring to several ways of giving birth, “Business of Being Born” neglected to mention or talk about symphyseotomies.
2. The insight of this part of the book was very similar to that of the first part. The author is comparing and contrasting styles and methods of giving birth. The thing that is different now, however, is that the author is focusing more on the evolution of birth throughout time. She compares methods that were popular and were proven successful at one point and then shows their popularity decline as she identifies their flaws. I enjoy the writing of the author because she allows the reader to think for themselves to some extent. The way that she writes, showing the flaws towards the end of the analysis reveals her bias, however, just showing both pros and cons gives the reader a good understanding of how the method works.
3. There are so many different ways to go about birth, which is more beneficial for the baby and the mother? Where can the balance be found? (General)
1.) Doctors emerge as the primary recourse for birth and essentially replace midwives. (pg 131)
2.) Father’s roles in birth often go unnoticed, the birth process affects them just as much as the mother, just in a more emotional manner as opposed to physical (pg 154)
3.) Celebrities seem to think that C-sections are a way to keep your body while having kids and desire them rather than refer to them (pg 123-124)
4.) The cons of c-sections seem to outweigh the pros yet they are referred to so often. Are people neglecting these cons? Are there really all of these “emergencies?” Are people just ignorant? (pg 107)
5.) Midwifery vs medical, Natural vs Technological, people likely feel safer with technology by there side and therefore generally prefer doctors. (pg 183)
4. I researched the symphyseotomy. The author seemed to be very accurate with her information concerning it and how it occurred with Jean-René Sigault and Madame Souchot. There were no errors in her research, verification is sited below.
Bibliography:
Dumont, M. "The long and difficult birth of symphysiotomy or from Severin Pineau to Jean-Rene Sigault." U.S. National Library of Medicine . N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Mar 2011..
2006. Print.
1. I do not recall the movie, “Business of Being Born” making any references to symphyseotomies. Basically what happens here in a symphyseotomy is when the doctor cuts through the woman’s pubic bone, them through her clitoris and labia, and then finally through her urethra. The cartilage in the bone is then divided spreading the pelvis somewhere between two and three inches. Despite referring to several ways of giving birth, “Business of Being Born” neglected to mention or talk about symphyseotomies.
2. The insight of this part of the book was very similar to that of the first part. The author is comparing and contrasting styles and methods of giving birth. The thing that is different now, however, is that the author is focusing more on the evolution of birth throughout time. She compares methods that were popular and were proven successful at one point and then shows their popularity decline as she identifies their flaws. I enjoy the writing of the author because she allows the reader to think for themselves to some extent. The way that she writes, showing the flaws towards the end of the analysis reveals her bias, however, just showing both pros and cons gives the reader a good understanding of how the method works.
3. There are so many different ways to go about birth, which is more beneficial for the baby and the mother? Where can the balance be found? (General)
1.) Doctors emerge as the primary recourse for birth and essentially replace midwives. (pg 131)
2.) Father’s roles in birth often go unnoticed, the birth process affects them just as much as the mother, just in a more emotional manner as opposed to physical (pg 154)
3.) Celebrities seem to think that C-sections are a way to keep your body while having kids and desire them rather than refer to them (pg 123-124)
4.) The cons of c-sections seem to outweigh the pros yet they are referred to so often. Are people neglecting these cons? Are there really all of these “emergencies?” Are people just ignorant? (pg 107)
5.) Midwifery vs medical, Natural vs Technological, people likely feel safer with technology by there side and therefore generally prefer doctors. (pg 183)
4. I researched the symphyseotomy. The author seemed to be very accurate with her information concerning it and how it occurred with Jean-René Sigault and Madame Souchot. There were no errors in her research, verification is sited below.
Bibliography:
Dumont, M. "The long and difficult birth of symphysiotomy or from Severin Pineau to Jean-Rene Sigault." U.S. National Library of Medicine . N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Mar 2011.
Monday, March 14, 2011
HW #38
Birth,
By Tina Cassidy
The book is very well organized. It consists of a smooth flow of personal stories as well as factual information that is relevant to the stories. The author supports her ideas with both stories and factual information.
How has birth evolved from the past to today? Are these changes good or bad for birth? I feel that this is a very interesting argument. There are aspects that support that modern day technology is both good and bad. Cesarean sections, although controversial, seem to be a helpful thing in my eyes. They keep babies alive in several cases. Looking at the movie “Business of Being Born” there are cases where the doctor actually puts the baby in unnecessary danger while midwifes may avoid this danger in some cases. Midwives are generally seen as old ways to handle birth while doctors are generally seen as new.
Different cultures handle birth differently. Old fashioned people refer to midwives, often with the desire of a more natural birth. Doctors very seldom perform these births. This is interesting because it is still unsure to me which is actually better, in a neutral situation. Can a baby survive a natural birth while experiencing difficulties during birth?
1. “Babies born late at night have a 16 percent greater chance of dying than babies born between 7:00a.m. and 7:00p.m” (Cassidy, 14)
2. “A 1992 study looked at seventeen hundred women attended by midwifes… home births were found to be ‘as safe as’ the hospital ones”
3. Birth is a major part of life and the majority of us plan to participate in it in some way, so we should be well informed about it
4. It is wise to be knowledgeable of other ways to approach the birth process, maybe ways of other cultures. This will further help us be certain that we are handling it the way we want to and are not forced into a certain type of birth
5. Having family, or some type of assistance is always helpful, even with cultures (like the Igbo tribe, page 11) who prefer the mother to have somewhat solitude.
The author uses evidence in both stories and facts/statistics. I find the blend very interesting and a good writing style. This style keeps the reader more interested than other books than consist of mostly facts. This may sometimes cause the book to be a bit of a drag and allow the reader to lose interest slowly. Having stories mixed in with the facts will likely, for most readers
By Tina Cassidy
The book is very well organized. It consists of a smooth flow of personal stories as well as factual information that is relevant to the stories. The author supports her ideas with both stories and factual information.
How has birth evolved from the past to today? Are these changes good or bad for birth? I feel that this is a very interesting argument. There are aspects that support that modern day technology is both good and bad. Cesarean sections, although controversial, seem to be a helpful thing in my eyes. They keep babies alive in several cases. Looking at the movie “Business of Being Born” there are cases where the doctor actually puts the baby in unnecessary danger while midwifes may avoid this danger in some cases. Midwives are generally seen as old ways to handle birth while doctors are generally seen as new.
Different cultures handle birth differently. Old fashioned people refer to midwives, often with the desire of a more natural birth. Doctors very seldom perform these births. This is interesting because it is still unsure to me which is actually better, in a neutral situation. Can a baby survive a natural birth while experiencing difficulties during birth?
1. “Babies born late at night have a 16 percent greater chance of dying than babies born between 7:00a.m. and 7:00p.m” (Cassidy, 14)
2. “A 1992 study looked at seventeen hundred women attended by midwifes… home births were found to be ‘as safe as’ the hospital ones”
3. Birth is a major part of life and the majority of us plan to participate in it in some way, so we should be well informed about it
4. It is wise to be knowledgeable of other ways to approach the birth process, maybe ways of other cultures. This will further help us be certain that we are handling it the way we want to and are not forced into a certain type of birth
5. Having family, or some type of assistance is always helpful, even with cultures (like the Igbo tribe, page 11) who prefer the mother to have somewhat solitude.
The author uses evidence in both stories and facts/statistics. I find the blend very interesting and a good writing style. This style keeps the reader more interested than other books than consist of mostly facts. This may sometimes cause the book to be a bit of a drag and allow the reader to lose interest slowly. Having stories mixed in with the facts will likely, for most readers
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
HW 37 Birth Stories Comments
To Max-
I think your post illustrated decent effort, being that I was kept interested since it was very personal. It is nice that you did not mind saying who you interviewed, making it easier for me to make connections since they were relatives of yours. To me the most insightful part was " It was scary for her because there was a problem with the birth process that she preferred i did not talk about but she did say I could say it was a life or death situation. In these type of situations i think that sometimes it might not be worth if if you go through that whole process and in the process your most prized thing in life dies. It is not worth going through all the painful memories." I wonder why your aunt did not want to discuss the matter if all ended well, which leads me to inquire further about whether it did end well or not. I also agree with your doubt in questioning if the whole thing is worth it, however, I believe it is because if you don't give it a try you will never know how it could have been. This is especially true if it is "your most prized thing in life" since you will be missing out on the possibility of having this thing.
Something that you can improve is to dig deeper in your other stories as you did with your last. Your reaction made that story much more interesting. Also it would be helpful to type in word and copy and paste into the blog to avoid any grammatical errors that could easily be avoided.
To Larche-
Your style of writting was graceful, particularly in the way that you began each chunk. Begining with one word to sum up your interviewee's feelings gave me a sense that you were truly interested in what they had to say and made me interested in what other things the person may have to say. The most insightful part to me was "She also had a lot of doubt through out the pregnancy , wondering if she would be a good mother or if the baby would be healthy." To me, this is not a feeling that would dominate my thought if I was in that situation, i may be fearful of the future however I would be optimistic. I would look forward to the future and try to find ways to make the whole process easier, rather than adding stress that can be avoided.
To Jay-
Your post was very well written. I like the way you began with the first person, summing up her feelings right away. This was a vague yet elegant introduction into the rest of the blog. The most insightful part to me was "
A father's place in birth is often undermined and their emotions aren't often taken into consideration. It may be possible that the father is more scared than the mother, because he thinks more solidly because he doesn't have the physicality of the birth to affect his feelings." I feel like this is a very true statement because all of the attention is on the mother. While this is appropriate, it seems as if fathers are not always given enough credit for there roles in the entire process from dealing with the mother and their mood swings and "cravings" to holding their hand in the delivery room in most cases. Mothers tend to be very dependent on their husbands and their role is significant to both the mother and the child, therefor i think they deserve more credit.
I think one way that you can improve your posts would be to try to make the later summaries of the interviewees as interesting as the first. Your engaging style of writing was not consistent in the last story and maintaining that consistency will make your blogs much more interesting altogether.
From Jay-
Your post was very detailed and actually interested me, when you actually do your posts they're really good. Quality work, Medium. A part i liked was; "Generally women, especially pregnant women, tend to be moody. Had her husband not been there to satisfy her needs when possible, then she would have likely been more angry and more often." While comedic, this was also interesting it brings up questions about the reliability that the mother has on the father and who single mothers have to lean on.
From Rali200 (Dad)-
Having just gone through a pregnancy and birth with my wife, my feelings and memories of it are still very fresh. Our son is now just over one week old, and after witnessing what my wife endured from day one to birth, I have a new found respect for what women go through during this period. Not that I didn't before, but there's nothing like witnessing it first hand. I guess I wouldn't use the word "easier" to describe the process for a pregnant woman when having the support of her husband and/or family, but more comforting to know she has someone there to help and depend on. As for this line, "It seems to just be an excuse to spoil the woman, and of course she takes advantage"; when and if you have a child in the future and see the woman you love in that much discomfort, knowing that one chocolate covered pickle will put a smile on her face...I'm sure you'll be out there at 2am with the rest of them :-).
From Larche-
It seems that you really tried to make sense of the feelings and actions of your interviewees during their pregnancy experience that gave you an understanding of their situation and sparked some thought.When referring to a pregnant woman's cravings I liked the line "It seems to just be an excuse to spoil the woman, and of course she takes advantage." Which goes back to the idea of treating women as sacred and precious by attending to their needs and spoiling them due to the pregnancy.
From Max-
Your post was very interesting to me. I really felt like you understood the struggles that your interviewees were going through and like you actually wanted to interview them. I think your most insightful lines were, "It made me gain weight, obviously, and I became depressed. I have always been someone that cares a lot about my appearance and with this weight and appearance I had very low self esteem, even though I knew it was baby weight."
I think your post illustrated decent effort, being that I was kept interested since it was very personal. It is nice that you did not mind saying who you interviewed, making it easier for me to make connections since they were relatives of yours. To me the most insightful part was " It was scary for her because there was a problem with the birth process that she preferred i did not talk about but she did say I could say it was a life or death situation. In these type of situations i think that sometimes it might not be worth if if you go through that whole process and in the process your most prized thing in life dies. It is not worth going through all the painful memories." I wonder why your aunt did not want to discuss the matter if all ended well, which leads me to inquire further about whether it did end well or not. I also agree with your doubt in questioning if the whole thing is worth it, however, I believe it is because if you don't give it a try you will never know how it could have been. This is especially true if it is "your most prized thing in life" since you will be missing out on the possibility of having this thing.
Something that you can improve is to dig deeper in your other stories as you did with your last. Your reaction made that story much more interesting. Also it would be helpful to type in word and copy and paste into the blog to avoid any grammatical errors that could easily be avoided.
To Larche-
Your style of writting was graceful, particularly in the way that you began each chunk. Begining with one word to sum up your interviewee's feelings gave me a sense that you were truly interested in what they had to say and made me interested in what other things the person may have to say. The most insightful part to me was "She also had a lot of doubt through out the pregnancy , wondering if she would be a good mother or if the baby would be healthy." To me, this is not a feeling that would dominate my thought if I was in that situation, i may be fearful of the future however I would be optimistic. I would look forward to the future and try to find ways to make the whole process easier, rather than adding stress that can be avoided.
To Jay-
Your post was very well written. I like the way you began with the first person, summing up her feelings right away. This was a vague yet elegant introduction into the rest of the blog. The most insightful part to me was "
A father's place in birth is often undermined and their emotions aren't often taken into consideration. It may be possible that the father is more scared than the mother, because he thinks more solidly because he doesn't have the physicality of the birth to affect his feelings." I feel like this is a very true statement because all of the attention is on the mother. While this is appropriate, it seems as if fathers are not always given enough credit for there roles in the entire process from dealing with the mother and their mood swings and "cravings" to holding their hand in the delivery room in most cases. Mothers tend to be very dependent on their husbands and their role is significant to both the mother and the child, therefor i think they deserve more credit.
I think one way that you can improve your posts would be to try to make the later summaries of the interviewees as interesting as the first. Your engaging style of writing was not consistent in the last story and maintaining that consistency will make your blogs much more interesting altogether.
From Jay-
Your post was very detailed and actually interested me, when you actually do your posts they're really good. Quality work, Medium. A part i liked was; "Generally women, especially pregnant women, tend to be moody. Had her husband not been there to satisfy her needs when possible, then she would have likely been more angry and more often." While comedic, this was also interesting it brings up questions about the reliability that the mother has on the father and who single mothers have to lean on.
From Rali200 (Dad)-
Having just gone through a pregnancy and birth with my wife, my feelings and memories of it are still very fresh. Our son is now just over one week old, and after witnessing what my wife endured from day one to birth, I have a new found respect for what women go through during this period. Not that I didn't before, but there's nothing like witnessing it first hand. I guess I wouldn't use the word "easier" to describe the process for a pregnant woman when having the support of her husband and/or family, but more comforting to know she has someone there to help and depend on. As for this line, "It seems to just be an excuse to spoil the woman, and of course she takes advantage"; when and if you have a child in the future and see the woman you love in that much discomfort, knowing that one chocolate covered pickle will put a smile on her face...I'm sure you'll be out there at 2am with the rest of them :-).
From Larche-
It seems that you really tried to make sense of the feelings and actions of your interviewees during their pregnancy experience that gave you an understanding of their situation and sparked some thought.When referring to a pregnant woman's cravings I liked the line "It seems to just be an excuse to spoil the woman, and of course she takes advantage." Which goes back to the idea of treating women as sacred and precious by attending to their needs and spoiling them due to the pregnancy.
From Max-
Your post was very interesting to me. I really felt like you understood the struggles that your interviewees were going through and like you actually wanted to interview them. I think your most insightful lines were, "It made me gain weight, obviously, and I became depressed. I have always been someone that cares a lot about my appearance and with this weight and appearance I had very low self esteem, even though I knew it was baby weight."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)