HW 51 - Second Third of COTD Book

Précis:
In the second third of Grave Matters I focus on the more abstract ways to handle the care of the dead. I begin touching up on aspects of cremation, which is when the dead body is turned to ash. Families then decide what happens to the body, usually based on something with some type of significance to the person, or a last wish of the person. This leads to the burials at sea. These are usually of the cremated remains rather than a full body. The full body is significantly less common because it is much harder to carry out and is often avoided by the licensed cremated remains disposer since it is so difficult. The next method discussed was memorial reefs. Basically the cremated remains would be placed in the center of the memorial reef balls and then into the ocean near an artificial reef.

Quotes:
- “The Funeral director’s office was darkened, the only light coming from a couple of low desk lamps,’ says Brian. ‘The atmosphere was just so heavy and gloomy” (Harris, 51)
- “The casket Brian picks out for him mother is made of plain cardboard ($55), whose simplicity and low cost, he believes, best squares with her philosophy of life” (Harris, 52)
- “Janet knew she’d cast his ashes over the ocean that held his affection” (Harris, 70)
- “That would gain her not just the yacht and flowers for scattering, but two hours at sea, which would include a leisurely bay tour after the scattering” (Harris, 77)
- “Place memorial reefs near beach attractions and families are more likely to come back and remember their loved ones.” (Harris, 92)

Analysis:
I am glad that I am reading this book. The care of the dead is something that many may not be very knowledgeable on. For example, Janet’s ignorance is expressed as she knows very little about how a sea burial works, “Before Janet knew all the laws involved, she’d planned to simply rent a boat and scatter the ashes of her husband and brother off Dana Point, a coastal suburb of Los Angeles where she and Ted had bought a condo three blocks from the beach. Two weeks before the big event, her son John advised her to hold off. He’d just read a brochure of a small outfit that conducted sea burials…it knows-and follows-all the laws in a sea burial and is even licensed by the state to conduct scatterings” (Harris, 71). Firstly I was interested in the authors wording, “and it even licensed” saying it as though it was an extra point, while the license is actually mandatory for that occupation. The quote exemplifies how easy it can be for someone to make a mistake in handling their dead ones. This relates to the first third of the book because the book continues to show how ignorant people are when it comes to the care of the dead.

Reading the second third of the book was by far more enjoyable for me that the first. I am now beginning to actually enjoy what I read as I realize that it will, someday, be significant information to me being that death is one of the few things in life that we are guaranteed. It is inevitable and it will happen to us and to those around us. I am glad that I will not be ignorant, or at least as much as some others may be when the time comes to care for the dead. As I continue to learn things, I come closer to answering what is more of a personal essential question: ‘What do I want done with me when I die?’ Initially I leaned more towards the more typical way being a funeral with family gathered around etc, however now I am leaning towards cremation. An interesting line in the end of the chapter left me pondering about how my family would feel in contract to her, “Janet’s weeping, too, though not so much from sadness as from relief,” and she went on to say that, “It’s over now. It’s finished. I did what I came to do-and after all those years of holding these ashes I’m free… “I did a good thing today, and I’m at peace.” (Harris, 82-83). This was possibly the most powerful quote yet, in my opinion, because it best expressed the effect that the method used had on the people. In this case, the sea burial was a majestic and powerful experience that left the person that was feeling by far the most pain in her losses, brother and husband, feeling completely at peace. Aside from the cost, which is obviously a large factor, leaving my loved ones at such a peace even as I pass would be the best possible thing that I could do for them as we part.