HW #19

My father, like most people, is very afraid of death. The thing that scares him most, is abandoning his loved ones and those closest to him. Another aspect that he is fearful of is where he will end up in his afterlife. Like my father, it also interests me what will happen to me in the afterlife; however I see the topic with more curiosity rather than fear. If there is a heaven or hell, you hope you will end up in heaven and if not where his spirit will end up. I would like to do more research and learn where religions or other theories about post death come from.
My father, like myself, also tries not to think about death. When the thought does enter his mind, it is usually concerned about the death of others rather than himself. He tends to worry about others more than himself. I think similarly, since I have always been fortunate not to be ill or have any near death experience. I do not even have an idea of the fears of being close to death. Despite his attempts not to think about death, my father feels that some pros of doing thinking more about it would make him or anyone more mentally familiar with it. I interpret this as preparing for it when it happens, likely to someone close to him.
The closest experience that my father had with death was when his uncle died. He was one of his closest uncles and despite his poor health; his potential death was never a thought. He was a serious smoker and as a result of that, it caused him to feel sad and guilty that he never paid much attention to the fact that he was actually dying. This led pushing him away from smoking, since his uncle dying of emphazima. My father had a very close experience with illness was when it was suspected that he had a brain tumor. This really struck fear into him and made him think about his life and death and angered him for several reasons. He felt that he was being cheated out of life and was upset that there were so many things that he had not accomplished that he wanted to. I feel that if I were him at that time, I would immediately begin to pursue those things and accomplish as much as I could with the time available. I f I were to have a near death experience like that, it would make me value life more and be more productive.
My father would like people to respect his death and have a traditional burial. As for his remembrance, he wants people to talk about and remember him. Something that intrigued me about what he said was that he does not like to talk about the death, yet wants others to do so for him. It made me wonder why he does not like to talk about others. If it is simply because it is saddening why would he want others to think of him, and potentially make them feel that same sadness? He mentioned that he wanted to be remembered for his qualities only, but I am sure the negative aspects will dwell into people’s minds as well. I would like to be remembered as well, but I want an honest memory. I will try to have less bad things to remember me by so that the general thought of me has the good outweighing the bad.