I have not had many experiences with illness and dying. The closest experience I had with it was through one of my closest friends. He and I have been great friends since we were five or six years of age. We lived very close to each other, making it simple to maintain a strong, close friendship. Throughout time we also became close with each others family members. Last year his grandmother, whom he used to live with, became very ill. She remained this way for quite some time; however I never thought much of it. On Halloween last year, she passed away. I was not very sure how to feel. I felt awful about the whole situation but I felt even worse because I did not feel the pain I had expected. When I looked at my friend, grieving over his grandmother, who raised him, it made me feel worse for my lack of emotion. He went into a state of depression. He would not speak to anyone and refused to leave his house. This eventually led to a complete waste of a year of his life. He did not go to school and failed the grade. It took him nearly an entire year to recover from the loss. This makes me think and fear death in a way differently than most think about it. Most people fear death of themselves, I fear how I will react to death of someone I really care about and that impacts, or has impacted my life.
When I think of illness I usually try to be optimistic and hope that someone that is ill can pull through their struggle. I have always been taught that death is inevitable so it is better not to think about it too much. This mindset has been constant for the most part, unless my mind strays and I think about it and alternatives. Despite this, generally when I think of death I think of fear. I always think of people fearing death. Society teaches us to fear death and those who do fear death are those who simply are not prepared to die or accept that it is inevitable. Scholar Thomas Aquinus stated that “people are afraid of death not only when they feel its presence but even when they think about it. The ability to understand the reality of death and realize its impact on us, ability to discuss our fears about death helps to fully live our lives.” (Aquinus, Attitudes Towards Death and Dying) I agree with this quote because I feel that the reality of deaths inevitability is what motivates me to make the best out of life, each and every day. I do not want to waste my time with pointless things that do not matter. We are slowly dying with every passing second of our life.
I do not think that my family has any abstract ideas about life. I think they, for the most part, also want to just make the best out of life. I think a theme for them is to provide the younger generation with higher quality lives than they have. When it comes to death there is also nothing very unique. All of my family are religious Catholics or Christians, so they believe in the idea of heaven or hell. Have been raised with these ideas and do worship god, however I have had my doubts.
A potentially unusual way that I tend to think of death is with a curious approach.
I am not anxious to die, however I do wonder what happens. Of course there are many beliefs such and the aforementioned heaven or hell, or reincarnation. To me, the most likely thing would be an eternal sleep however that could lead to other things. Will you eternally dream as well? Or will it be a nightmare? Is your behavior in your current life what determines if your death ends up a dream or nightmare? Is that what the whole heaven or hell idea comes from? If not these things than do you become something else rather than a person in your dream? Is this what reincarnation really is? Regardless of what happens when you die I do not see anyway to research and truly determine what happens when death occurs. All of the possibilities or beliefs are just theories.
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