Jay, (http://allevidencetothecontrary.blogspot.com/)
I enjoyed reading your post and I liked how you only included the interesting aspects of the conversation. It makes it easier for the reader to digest the information while still showing that you had an enlightening worth while experience. The quote, “After talking to her and listening to Skip and his colleague, it seems that care of the dead specialists actually like their job, which I think is really weird. How can you like being around dead people and grieving all of time?” stood out to me because I feel the same way you do. I think that Skip’s relationship with death is the most meaningful to me because he is actually an emotional person and admits it, which may seem weird to some but I think it is something that will somehow make him better at what he does. I suppose that it relates to “the calling” that people in the business refer to, as you mentioned in your speech. Also, there were also no obvious grammar mistakes, which allow for a smoother read. Nice job.
Larche, (http://larchegnormalisweird4.blogspot.com/)
I liked your blog because it provided me with a lot of information. While it had a research paper style your analysis made reading it far less boring than I expected from this assignment. I particularly liked the sentence, “The experience of a home burial can also much more meaningful and personal than a traditional funeral because families are able to carry out the wishes of their dead in a private setting rather than being surrounded by strangers and allowing them to handle the death process, but by handling the death process of their loved one themselves can help the grieving process and make it easier to say their final goodbyes.” While this is an interesting point it is clear to me that some may need the assistance of a “stranger” like a funeral director. They can possibly ease the pain and make the process less difficult and stressful for the family member(s) whom experience the loss. In my opinion I feel that would help me to cope with my loss rather than having to deal with it myself. This was a strong post however I think proofreading is far too often discredited. While the quote above stood out to me it was also a running sentence. Had you proofread I am sure you would have caught it. All in all, good job.
Max, (http://maxnormalisweird.blogspot.com/)
I liked the way you went about the assignment. Making videos of the interviews made it a lot easier and more enjoyable to view rather than paragraphs of description. I liked how your father said, “it’s kind of like going home” which makes me think about places that are significant to me. He also mentioned music which made we wonder why he cared so much about things happening that he desired because he will not be the person to experience them, like the music. I wonder how he feels about the afterlife and the mind/spirit vs body contrast. Aside from this I am disappointed that your paragraph was not as elaborate or carefully written as I expected. It seemed carelessly written and I think that while the assignment was a good idea, especially with the videos, it could have been much better if your paragraph was more personal and detailed. Another paragraph could have even been added. Overall a solid and enjoyable post.
Lina, (http://normalisweirdbylina.blogspot.com/)
After hearing your elevator speech I felt like I had to read your blog. Truthfully I did not think that it was the best speech I heard, however your energy was respectable and I found the topic very interesting. I liked the tone that your writing maintained, which I found both pleasant and formal. Reading actually felt like I was listening to you talk, which I think is a quality that very few people have, especially when maintaining a formal tone simultaneously. Not many lines really stood out to me very much, however this one left me very thoughtful, “Veterans are only remembered on Memorial and Veterans' Day when flags were placed beside their grave. Children or young adults were some of the few who had flowers but past ten years after the burial, at least on my day of visitation, there was little or no evidence of the family being there. Is the care of our dead only relative to our grieving process?” I like how you inquire on the topics however I am more interested in hearing your views on the matter. After so much information a perspective would make the blog far more interesting in my opinion. You began the blog with a clear argument however as you provided your evidence you failed to continue adding your perspective. It seemed like you focused more on making your conclusion sound appealing rather than solidifying your argument. I liked your topic and enjoyed reading your post. Good job.
Willie, (http://treystar3.blogspot.com/)
Your elevator speech was one of the most interesting in my opinion. I feel that it is unfortunate that you struggle to find a comfort zone when you speak out loud. Your quietness make sometimes make you seem a lot less intelligent than you can be. On the other hand it can be advantageous to possibly keep you modest as opposed to those who boast there intellect. Your topics of religion were interesting to me however I feel that you need to elaborate more on them. For example, “The Egyptians also believed in reincarnation, so the king was never really gone forever. I have sometimes seen reincarnation as a kind of cool process, after talking to my mom, it doesn't seem as cool anymore. The Egyptians didn't really take care of the dead. They more just put the body in a tomb, wrapped it up, and left it there.” I too felt that the reincarnation process seemed cool however I do not know enough about it to make a decision on it. While you share both information that you gathered as well as your views, you do not elaborate on them. It seems like you completed this work hastily which really lowers the quality of the work. I would like to read more about why reincarnation was appealing to you, why your mother changed your views on it, and what you mean by the Egyptians lack of care for the dead, “wrapped it up, and left it there.” How is that any different from the social practices of today in context? Also, in text citations as well as an annotated bibliography should be included with work like this. I think this was a great topic and that you did substantial work on your blog, however it was not written particularly carefully. Spending more time on your work could have made this an exceptional blog. You should consider taking Andy’s advice and focus on only one or two religions rather than three so that you can go into more depth with them rather than being so brief.
___________________________________________________________
From Megumi,
I found your post really interesting and fun to read. I thought home funerals were 'better' than the traditional funeral procedures, but this interview made me think otherwise. A line that caught my attention was, "The home funeral caused a negative reminder rather that a happy living one." I think I rather be remembered for the good times versus the bad, and though I thought at one point that having a personal home funeral would help people move forward after mourning with their own terms-perhaps this does not apply to everyone. Maybe avoiding reality, avoiding the fact that the person they loved has passed away-is the right decision for some. The interview made me re-think about the home funeral idea. This was a nicely written post.
From Leah,
I thought that your post was intriguing. I thought it was weird how the woman was aganist home funeral because of the constant reminder that she had a dead loved one in her house, i think that is the best part of a home funeral. It's nice that you had a fun time while doing this project which makes it more engaging. It's funny how the woman buys funeral magazines, i never heard of that before. Good Job!
From Sarah,
After hearing your speech I was inclined to check out your blog! Something you said while you were presenting to the class was how the experience you had with this woman was much more of a conversation than anything else. It made me think about if now we are biased and assume everyone and anyone involved in the funeral business is soulless and in it for the big bucks. I liked this line, "The woman was comfortable and natural in her conversation with Jay and I. She seemed genuinely happy with her position and even shared some things that interested her in the business, like reading coffin magazines as others read car or celebrity magazines. It looked like she really loved what she did." Although it is hard to imagine how someone could actually feel comfortable in this sort of position it obviously does happen. I enjoyed reading this and hearing you speak about it in class. Good Job!
From Dima,
Rossi, your discussion was very interesting to read for me because you answered the questions which tells everything related to your project. You stand for you opinion and it makes it more interesting. In your interview, people tell you about how they want to be cemented or not. You recorded their opinions which are different! Good job!
From Max,
I think that it was very interesting that you decided to interview the women that you did. Do you think that having someone to help you with forming your questions helped you shape your post? and also how do you think her being so comfortable in the interview helped you remember key information?
From Larche,
I enjoyed reading your recap of the interview with the women at the funeral home. I liked that you decided to go out and explore this topic more and ask questions to someone who is in the business and knows a lot more. Something I found interesting was the woman's take on home funerals and how she was against them. Since I did my project on home burials which just goes to show that everyone has their own way of dealing with the death process that makes easier for them. That in the end it's all about remembering that person and honoring their life and wishes.
From Rossi (Mentor),
My wife and I had a discussion about cremation vs burial just a couple days ago. Although it sounds "nice" to be scattered over the ocean or somewhere significant to you or your loved one during life, it seems to me that really leaves no place to visit...knowing that person physically is six feet below you. I guess we're simply used to the fact of one being able to visit a lost one at an actual location, and not just in spirit.
From Tia (Proteje),
I found your post to be interesting. One part i found interesting was when the woman says "she wanted to be cremated because she did not want people to see her in that state but to remember her from her life." I found that part interesting because of past experiences. When my grandfather died I really didn't want to see him, it would've just hurt more. At least with cremation I didn't have to be haunted with the memory of his cold and lifeless face. But yet it is also weird how she was against cremation as well. Great job =]
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
HW 55 - Culminating Project - Care of the Dead
The receptionist at Provenzano Lanza Funeral Home Inc. had interesting things to say regarding the care of the dead. Aside from her paying job there, she is studying to be a funeral director herself. Here is the list of questions that were asked by Jay Mcarthy and I:
1. What are your views on embalming, or do you think that it is necessary? Are you aware of the environmental affects?
2. What motivated you to this occupation?
3. How do you want to be cared for when your time comes?
4. What do you think of home funerals?
5. GPL?
6. Do you think people are not knowledgeable enough on matters regarding the care of the dead?
Her responses were not very surprising, as she stated that embalming makes the viewing of the body easier for the family. Also that she is interested in the business because she wants to help the families that need it and make things easier for them. She said that she wanted to be cremated because she did not want people to see her in that state but to remember her from her life. The more interesting response was from the home funeral question where she said that she was personally against it. She wanted to remember the person for them and having it in their home caused a constant reminder of her dead loved one every time she entered the house. The home funeral caused a negative reminder rather that a happy living one. She agreed that people are not as knowledgeable as they should be, however, while somewhat predictable, she had an intriguing comment that people just do not want to know about the care of the dead. She said that people are not comfortable with the topic and prefer not to think about it. The woman also kindly provided us with a list of their GPA.
I have several opposing viewpoints to this woman’s views. I could never truly accept embalming because while it creates an accurate presentation if the passed one, it is not real. The person is no longer in that, seemingly living state; therefore I feel that they should not be portrayed that way. While causing more grief, I feel it would actually end up helping families because they have no choice but to accept the death in such a graphic way. I personally am still undecided on how I would like to be cared for when I pass, however this woman said she wants to be cremated. She did not want people to remember her for how she appeared when she was dead, but to remember the good fun times they shared and what she meant to them.
I found this experience to be fun and significant. Aside from just completing this assignment I got a sense for what someone in the business is like in what came to me as a more honest description. The woman was comfortable and natural in her conversation with Jay and I. She seemed genuinely happy with her position and even shared some things that interested her in the business, like reading coffin magazines as others read car or celebrity magazines. It looked like she really loved what she did.
These are a couple images of the funeral home as well as a cemetery right next to it:
1. What are your views on embalming, or do you think that it is necessary? Are you aware of the environmental affects?
2. What motivated you to this occupation?
3. How do you want to be cared for when your time comes?
4. What do you think of home funerals?
5. GPL?
6. Do you think people are not knowledgeable enough on matters regarding the care of the dead?
Her responses were not very surprising, as she stated that embalming makes the viewing of the body easier for the family. Also that she is interested in the business because she wants to help the families that need it and make things easier for them. She said that she wanted to be cremated because she did not want people to see her in that state but to remember her from her life. The more interesting response was from the home funeral question where she said that she was personally against it. She wanted to remember the person for them and having it in their home caused a constant reminder of her dead loved one every time she entered the house. The home funeral caused a negative reminder rather that a happy living one. She agreed that people are not as knowledgeable as they should be, however, while somewhat predictable, she had an intriguing comment that people just do not want to know about the care of the dead. She said that people are not comfortable with the topic and prefer not to think about it. The woman also kindly provided us with a list of their GPA.
I have several opposing viewpoints to this woman’s views. I could never truly accept embalming because while it creates an accurate presentation if the passed one, it is not real. The person is no longer in that, seemingly living state; therefore I feel that they should not be portrayed that way. While causing more grief, I feel it would actually end up helping families because they have no choice but to accept the death in such a graphic way. I personally am still undecided on how I would like to be cared for when I pass, however this woman said she wants to be cremated. She did not want people to remember her for how she appeared when she was dead, but to remember the good fun times they shared and what she meant to them.
I found this experience to be fun and significant. Aside from just completing this assignment I got a sense for what someone in the business is like in what came to me as a more honest description. The woman was comfortable and natural in her conversation with Jay and I. She seemed genuinely happy with her position and even shared some things that interested her in the business, like reading coffin magazines as others read car or celebrity magazines. It looked like she really loved what she did.
These are a couple images of the funeral home as well as a cemetery right next to it:
Thursday, May 5, 2011
HW 51 - Second Third of COTD Book
Précis:
In the second third of Grave Matters I focus on the more abstract ways to handle the care of the dead. I begin touching up on aspects of cremation, which is when the dead body is turned to ash. Families then decide what happens to the body, usually based on something with some type of significance to the person, or a last wish of the person. This leads to the burials at sea. These are usually of the cremated remains rather than a full body. The full body is significantly less common because it is much harder to carry out and is often avoided by the licensed cremated remains disposer since it is so difficult. The next method discussed was memorial reefs. Basically the cremated remains would be placed in the center of the memorial reef balls and then into the ocean near an artificial reef.
Quotes:
- “The Funeral director’s office was darkened, the only light coming from a couple of low desk lamps,’ says Brian. ‘The atmosphere was just so heavy and gloomy” (Harris, 51)
- “The casket Brian picks out for him mother is made of plain cardboard ($55), whose simplicity and low cost, he believes, best squares with her philosophy of life” (Harris, 52)
- “Janet knew she’d cast his ashes over the ocean that held his affection” (Harris, 70)
- “That would gain her not just the yacht and flowers for scattering, but two hours at sea, which would include a leisurely bay tour after the scattering” (Harris, 77)
- “Place memorial reefs near beach attractions and families are more likely to come back and remember their loved ones.” (Harris, 92)
Analysis:
I am glad that I am reading this book. The care of the dead is something that many may not be very knowledgeable on. For example, Janet’s ignorance is expressed as she knows very little about how a sea burial works, “Before Janet knew all the laws involved, she’d planned to simply rent a boat and scatter the ashes of her husband and brother off Dana Point, a coastal suburb of Los Angeles where she and Ted had bought a condo three blocks from the beach. Two weeks before the big event, her son John advised her to hold off. He’d just read a brochure of a small outfit that conducted sea burials…it knows-and follows-all the laws in a sea burial and is even licensed by the state to conduct scatterings” (Harris, 71). Firstly I was interested in the authors wording, “and it even licensed” saying it as though it was an extra point, while the license is actually mandatory for that occupation. The quote exemplifies how easy it can be for someone to make a mistake in handling their dead ones. This relates to the first third of the book because the book continues to show how ignorant people are when it comes to the care of the dead.
Reading the second third of the book was by far more enjoyable for me that the first. I am now beginning to actually enjoy what I read as I realize that it will, someday, be significant information to me being that death is one of the few things in life that we are guaranteed. It is inevitable and it will happen to us and to those around us. I am glad that I will not be ignorant, or at least as much as some others may be when the time comes to care for the dead. As I continue to learn things, I come closer to answering what is more of a personal essential question: ‘What do I want done with me when I die?’ Initially I leaned more towards the more typical way being a funeral with family gathered around etc, however now I am leaning towards cremation. An interesting line in the end of the chapter left me pondering about how my family would feel in contract to her, “Janet’s weeping, too, though not so much from sadness as from relief,” and she went on to say that, “It’s over now. It’s finished. I did what I came to do-and after all those years of holding these ashes I’m free… “I did a good thing today, and I’m at peace.” (Harris, 82-83). This was possibly the most powerful quote yet, in my opinion, because it best expressed the effect that the method used had on the people. In this case, the sea burial was a majestic and powerful experience that left the person that was feeling by far the most pain in her losses, brother and husband, feeling completely at peace. Aside from the cost, which is obviously a large factor, leaving my loved ones at such a peace even as I pass would be the best possible thing that I could do for them as we part.
In the second third of Grave Matters I focus on the more abstract ways to handle the care of the dead. I begin touching up on aspects of cremation, which is when the dead body is turned to ash. Families then decide what happens to the body, usually based on something with some type of significance to the person, or a last wish of the person. This leads to the burials at sea. These are usually of the cremated remains rather than a full body. The full body is significantly less common because it is much harder to carry out and is often avoided by the licensed cremated remains disposer since it is so difficult. The next method discussed was memorial reefs. Basically the cremated remains would be placed in the center of the memorial reef balls and then into the ocean near an artificial reef.
Quotes:
- “The Funeral director’s office was darkened, the only light coming from a couple of low desk lamps,’ says Brian. ‘The atmosphere was just so heavy and gloomy” (Harris, 51)
- “The casket Brian picks out for him mother is made of plain cardboard ($55), whose simplicity and low cost, he believes, best squares with her philosophy of life” (Harris, 52)
- “Janet knew she’d cast his ashes over the ocean that held his affection” (Harris, 70)
- “That would gain her not just the yacht and flowers for scattering, but two hours at sea, which would include a leisurely bay tour after the scattering” (Harris, 77)
- “Place memorial reefs near beach attractions and families are more likely to come back and remember their loved ones.” (Harris, 92)
Analysis:
I am glad that I am reading this book. The care of the dead is something that many may not be very knowledgeable on. For example, Janet’s ignorance is expressed as she knows very little about how a sea burial works, “Before Janet knew all the laws involved, she’d planned to simply rent a boat and scatter the ashes of her husband and brother off Dana Point, a coastal suburb of Los Angeles where she and Ted had bought a condo three blocks from the beach. Two weeks before the big event, her son John advised her to hold off. He’d just read a brochure of a small outfit that conducted sea burials…it knows-and follows-all the laws in a sea burial and is even licensed by the state to conduct scatterings” (Harris, 71). Firstly I was interested in the authors wording, “and it even licensed” saying it as though it was an extra point, while the license is actually mandatory for that occupation. The quote exemplifies how easy it can be for someone to make a mistake in handling their dead ones. This relates to the first third of the book because the book continues to show how ignorant people are when it comes to the care of the dead.
Reading the second third of the book was by far more enjoyable for me that the first. I am now beginning to actually enjoy what I read as I realize that it will, someday, be significant information to me being that death is one of the few things in life that we are guaranteed. It is inevitable and it will happen to us and to those around us. I am glad that I will not be ignorant, or at least as much as some others may be when the time comes to care for the dead. As I continue to learn things, I come closer to answering what is more of a personal essential question: ‘What do I want done with me when I die?’ Initially I leaned more towards the more typical way being a funeral with family gathered around etc, however now I am leaning towards cremation. An interesting line in the end of the chapter left me pondering about how my family would feel in contract to her, “Janet’s weeping, too, though not so much from sadness as from relief,” and she went on to say that, “It’s over now. It’s finished. I did what I came to do-and after all those years of holding these ashes I’m free… “I did a good thing today, and I’m at peace.” (Harris, 82-83). This was possibly the most powerful quote yet, in my opinion, because it best expressed the effect that the method used had on the people. In this case, the sea burial was a majestic and powerful experience that left the person that was feeling by far the most pain in her losses, brother and husband, feeling completely at peace. Aside from the cost, which is obviously a large factor, leaving my loved ones at such a peace even as I pass would be the best possible thing that I could do for them as we part.
Monday, May 2, 2011
HW 49 - Comments on Best of Your Break HW
From Max,
It is very interesting to me that your "acquaintance" felt like death was not something that should be discussed. Did you know this before you interviewed him? If not how did this in the end help you shape your blog post if it did at all. Overall a very thought provoking post.
From Jay,
Good post, good work. I like your analysis and application of your own opinions. You went into depth and your interviews were gold. Next time, you might wan't to proofread closly because there were a few mess ups.
From Larche,
Thought that getting to hear your peer's views on death from three different perspectives really helped you develop your own thoughts on the subject more. I like how you were able to take what your interviewees said and applied it to your own life and how you see death. The quote "It saddens me that one death can change so much" the interviews were touching and showed how each person was affected by death in their lives and how it has influenced their views on it and changed so much for them. You told each person's story in a way that I could connect to. Good job!
From Tia (protégé),
This was really good and interesting. It really made me think about how short life is. A few saying i liked and found interesting were: "Then again, pain is just a part of life so it may actually be worth the pain." & "If it is an open casket, I want it to be all me, all natural. I do not want makeup making me look any different."
awesome job =]
From Dad (mentor),
Death has always been a scary thought for me mainly for the fact that it is unkown what really happens afterwards. Sure there's a lot of theories out there which many believe in...but who really knows?! That being said, it's equally scary for me to think of leaving my loved ones behind...but I guess we all need to prepare for it, as this is the only sure thing in life! So enjoy it while we're here ;-)
____________________________________________________________________
Jay,
I found your blog very interesting as they tend to be. I feel like being that this is a topic that you actually know less about than the others, your interest allowed you to create deeper questions. I also liked your ideas on how the business is likely a good one since death is an inevitable part of life so there will always be business. “I presume that it is a very profitable industry, being that people die all the time.” Being that I also never though about the care of the dead very much, it never occurred to me how good of a business it must be. I agree with you on your views of the significance of caring for the dead as well, which was evident on the final line of your post. This was a very well written and fun to read post.
Larche,
I found your blog very engaging, as it seemed as if you put a lot of effort into it, particularly the interviews. I however, question the first person when he/she says, “I personally think that cremation is wrong. If there is nothing left of the body you can't say your prayers to it or you won't really have any proof of that being ever living...those burnt up ashes can be ashes of anything or anyone, but with a buried body you actually have proof that someone indeed passed on”. It seems to me that this person may have an issue with their own personal significance in the world, or at least that is how I interpret it. If someone dear to me passed, the last thing I would be doing is questioning their existence or looking for proof. I see it as an insecurity of theirs, so he/she desires physical evidence and wants that to exist when her/his time comes. One thing that you could have done to improve this post is add a personal perspective of some sort, however I felt it was a very strong post overall.
Max,
Unfortunately you seem to have closer experiences with death than most people had and for that I am sorry. Your blog seemed very straightforward and honest. I liked your wording and felt that it is a strong point in your writing that keeps me interested and engaged. In particular, “After this you could see the utter sadness in my fathers face and how emotional of a topic this was for him to speak on. I then asked him if he felt uncomfortable talking about his death.” Your word choice here helped me connect and even remember my tough moments, few as they were, with death. Your style of writing is strong here and helped to strengthen your very personal interviews. I could really feel the emotion that your interviewees, and likely yourself, felt as a result of the assignment. I recommend typing your blogs in word and copying and pasting after to avoid any minor grammar mistakes. Proofreading would also be very helpful. Overall this was a great blog.
Abdul,
I found your style of writing very engaging and I enjoyed reading this post. The connection I have (little shop of horrors) makes the reading more entertaining to me, which helped me pay closer attention to the work. I found it interesting how you were able to share an experience from so long ago and identify your ignorance. I connect to your work again, in the surprise of the cost of the whole funeral process. Reading the book Grave Matters by Mark Harris, there are several things that need to be paid for. It is sad that people have to worry about money while they mourn for their loved ones. Overall I felt that your blog was interesting and engaging however one simple way to strengthen your writing is proofreading. There were some careless grammar and wording errors that could have easily been avoided by simply proofreading.
It is very interesting to me that your "acquaintance" felt like death was not something that should be discussed. Did you know this before you interviewed him? If not how did this in the end help you shape your blog post if it did at all. Overall a very thought provoking post.
From Jay,
Good post, good work. I like your analysis and application of your own opinions. You went into depth and your interviews were gold. Next time, you might wan't to proofread closly because there were a few mess ups.
From Larche,
Thought that getting to hear your peer's views on death from three different perspectives really helped you develop your own thoughts on the subject more. I like how you were able to take what your interviewees said and applied it to your own life and how you see death. The quote "It saddens me that one death can change so much" the interviews were touching and showed how each person was affected by death in their lives and how it has influenced their views on it and changed so much for them. You told each person's story in a way that I could connect to. Good job!
From Tia (protégé),
This was really good and interesting. It really made me think about how short life is. A few saying i liked and found interesting were: "Then again, pain is just a part of life so it may actually be worth the pain." & "If it is an open casket, I want it to be all me, all natural. I do not want makeup making me look any different."
awesome job =]
From Dad (mentor),
Death has always been a scary thought for me mainly for the fact that it is unkown what really happens afterwards. Sure there's a lot of theories out there which many believe in...but who really knows?! That being said, it's equally scary for me to think of leaving my loved ones behind...but I guess we all need to prepare for it, as this is the only sure thing in life! So enjoy it while we're here ;-)
____________________________________________________________________
Jay,
I found your blog very interesting as they tend to be. I feel like being that this is a topic that you actually know less about than the others, your interest allowed you to create deeper questions. I also liked your ideas on how the business is likely a good one since death is an inevitable part of life so there will always be business. “I presume that it is a very profitable industry, being that people die all the time.” Being that I also never though about the care of the dead very much, it never occurred to me how good of a business it must be. I agree with you on your views of the significance of caring for the dead as well, which was evident on the final line of your post. This was a very well written and fun to read post.
Larche,
I found your blog very engaging, as it seemed as if you put a lot of effort into it, particularly the interviews. I however, question the first person when he/she says, “I personally think that cremation is wrong. If there is nothing left of the body you can't say your prayers to it or you won't really have any proof of that being ever living...those burnt up ashes can be ashes of anything or anyone, but with a buried body you actually have proof that someone indeed passed on”. It seems to me that this person may have an issue with their own personal significance in the world, or at least that is how I interpret it. If someone dear to me passed, the last thing I would be doing is questioning their existence or looking for proof. I see it as an insecurity of theirs, so he/she desires physical evidence and wants that to exist when her/his time comes. One thing that you could have done to improve this post is add a personal perspective of some sort, however I felt it was a very strong post overall.
Max,
Unfortunately you seem to have closer experiences with death than most people had and for that I am sorry. Your blog seemed very straightforward and honest. I liked your wording and felt that it is a strong point in your writing that keeps me interested and engaged. In particular, “After this you could see the utter sadness in my fathers face and how emotional of a topic this was for him to speak on. I then asked him if he felt uncomfortable talking about his death.” Your word choice here helped me connect and even remember my tough moments, few as they were, with death. Your style of writing is strong here and helped to strengthen your very personal interviews. I could really feel the emotion that your interviewees, and likely yourself, felt as a result of the assignment. I recommend typing your blogs in word and copying and pasting after to avoid any minor grammar mistakes. Proofreading would also be very helpful. Overall this was a great blog.
Abdul,
I found your style of writing very engaging and I enjoyed reading this post. The connection I have (little shop of horrors) makes the reading more entertaining to me, which helped me pay closer attention to the work. I found it interesting how you were able to share an experience from so long ago and identify your ignorance. I connect to your work again, in the surprise of the cost of the whole funeral process. Reading the book Grave Matters by Mark Harris, there are several things that need to be paid for. It is sad that people have to worry about money while they mourn for their loved ones. Overall I felt that your blog was interesting and engaging however one simple way to strengthen your writing is proofreading. There were some careless grammar and wording errors that could have easily been avoided by simply proofreading.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
HW 50 - First Third of Care-of-the-Dead Book Post
Précis: As I met with the Johnson after the premature death of their eighteen year old daughter. They, as nearly all the people who see me regarding business, were devastated. Like all my customers, I handled them delicately being sure not to force them into any potentially rash while still giving them a complete overview of what I had to offer to the care of their dead daughter. Once they made their decisions, I continued to embalm their daughter as I would with any other client.
Quotes:
- “Like most of his clients, the Johnsons don’t think to question Fielding's request to embalm, even though the GPL states that embalming isn’t required by law.” (Harris, 8)
- “Had the Johnsons known enough to ask fielding if he’d instead hold Jenny in a refrigeration unit until the viewing, which also would have slowed her decay (and at a fraction of the cost of embalming), Fielding would have said he doesn’t offer refrigeration because it won’t make Jenny look “nearly as good as she could be” in the casket” (Harris, 8-9)
- “What’s best really depends on personal preference and how one feels about the value of protecting a loved one, Fielding offers. “I’ll leave you now and let you peruse as much as you like. If you have any questions I’ll be just outside the door.” (Harris, 13)
These quotes remind me that although the matter is a very sensitive one, the care of the dead is still a business and that is Fielding’s primary goal here. He wants to make money and keep his customers happy.
Analysis:
One quote that I found very interesting which was on page 25, “he stipples onto her smooth, shaved face the kit’s pinker hues, to raise a blush he believes will complement the rose colors of the casket and her gown; he follows the makeup with light rouge… Using the prom picture as a guide, Feilding proceeds to darken the eyebrows with pencil and, after mixing a bit of cosmetic oil with her lipstick in the palm of his hand, paints the lips with a fine brush.” (Harris, 25) As in the previous birth unit, I find myself taking a serious interest in an aspect that some may say does not really matter. For the birth unit it was the idea of “cravings” and now it is the whole makeup deal with the dead. I suppose I understand the reasoning; however I guess I just do not agree. I think that one should be remember as they were most of the time. Generally people do not wear makeup constantly, so having excess makeup on the dead is wrong to me. Even with Jenny, the unfortunate teenager here a substantial amount of makeup is applied. This happens despite the fact that, “Fielding is not one to use a lot of makeup, and fortunately in this case he doesn’t have to.” (Harris, 25) Given the first quote in this paragraph, it sounds like more than enough makeup is applied. Wonder how much makeup this man puts in cases that are less fortunate and do need a lot of makeup.
The makeup point also challenges what the character Fielding himself said, that he wants Jenny to look like she was merely asleep and “at peace”. On page 18 the author states, “With his arsenal of tools, and techniques, he’s an illusionist who literally changes the face of death, transforming the ashen, lifeless corpses in his care into lifelike bodies at rest.” (Harris, 18) How many people do you know that wear makeup to sleep? Also, how many people have this calm image during their prom night? In society today prom can be one of the biggest events to someone. This being the case, they will want to live it up, not be calm and at rest, as Fielding claims are his goal in the embalmment and decoration of Jenny.
In addition to this, the entire embalming process interested me. The entire time I wondered what would be going through the mind of the operator, as Fielding was. How does doing the embalming differ from time to time, or from the first time doing it to all the others, or maybe even the last? Honestly it grossed me out at times. It just made me feel uncomfortable and I do not know how people with this occupation can stand it. In fact, I do not see what would motivate someone to take up this job. I do not see many pros to it, unless there is a great deal income as a result. I do not think I would ever even consider this as a job. I also wonder how people like Fielding remain emotionally unaffected at all by everything, from meeting the family, to hearing the sad stories, to the embalming, and to making them pay such a great deal of money to care for a dead loved one. In the end, I suppose it is just a business, “The total cost of the embalming, funeral, and burial of Jenny Johnson comes to $12,376.” (Harris, 14)
Quotes:
- “Like most of his clients, the Johnsons don’t think to question Fielding's request to embalm, even though the GPL states that embalming isn’t required by law.” (Harris, 8)
- “Had the Johnsons known enough to ask fielding if he’d instead hold Jenny in a refrigeration unit until the viewing, which also would have slowed her decay (and at a fraction of the cost of embalming), Fielding would have said he doesn’t offer refrigeration because it won’t make Jenny look “nearly as good as she could be” in the casket” (Harris, 8-9)
- “What’s best really depends on personal preference and how one feels about the value of protecting a loved one, Fielding offers. “I’ll leave you now and let you peruse as much as you like. If you have any questions I’ll be just outside the door.” (Harris, 13)
These quotes remind me that although the matter is a very sensitive one, the care of the dead is still a business and that is Fielding’s primary goal here. He wants to make money and keep his customers happy.
Analysis:
One quote that I found very interesting which was on page 25, “he stipples onto her smooth, shaved face the kit’s pinker hues, to raise a blush he believes will complement the rose colors of the casket and her gown; he follows the makeup with light rouge… Using the prom picture as a guide, Feilding proceeds to darken the eyebrows with pencil and, after mixing a bit of cosmetic oil with her lipstick in the palm of his hand, paints the lips with a fine brush.” (Harris, 25) As in the previous birth unit, I find myself taking a serious interest in an aspect that some may say does not really matter. For the birth unit it was the idea of “cravings” and now it is the whole makeup deal with the dead. I suppose I understand the reasoning; however I guess I just do not agree. I think that one should be remember as they were most of the time. Generally people do not wear makeup constantly, so having excess makeup on the dead is wrong to me. Even with Jenny, the unfortunate teenager here a substantial amount of makeup is applied. This happens despite the fact that, “Fielding is not one to use a lot of makeup, and fortunately in this case he doesn’t have to.” (Harris, 25) Given the first quote in this paragraph, it sounds like more than enough makeup is applied. Wonder how much makeup this man puts in cases that are less fortunate and do need a lot of makeup.
The makeup point also challenges what the character Fielding himself said, that he wants Jenny to look like she was merely asleep and “at peace”. On page 18 the author states, “With his arsenal of tools, and techniques, he’s an illusionist who literally changes the face of death, transforming the ashen, lifeless corpses in his care into lifelike bodies at rest.” (Harris, 18) How many people do you know that wear makeup to sleep? Also, how many people have this calm image during their prom night? In society today prom can be one of the biggest events to someone. This being the case, they will want to live it up, not be calm and at rest, as Fielding claims are his goal in the embalmment and decoration of Jenny.
In addition to this, the entire embalming process interested me. The entire time I wondered what would be going through the mind of the operator, as Fielding was. How does doing the embalming differ from time to time, or from the first time doing it to all the others, or maybe even the last? Honestly it grossed me out at times. It just made me feel uncomfortable and I do not know how people with this occupation can stand it. In fact, I do not see what would motivate someone to take up this job. I do not see many pros to it, unless there is a great deal income as a result. I do not think I would ever even consider this as a job. I also wonder how people like Fielding remain emotionally unaffected at all by everything, from meeting the family, to hearing the sad stories, to the embalming, and to making them pay such a great deal of money to care for a dead loved one. In the end, I suppose it is just a business, “The total cost of the embalming, funeral, and burial of Jenny Johnson comes to $12,376.” (Harris, 14)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
HW 48 - Family Perspectives on the Care of the Dead
Mother:
My mother was very brief in her responses. She said that the closest experience she had with death was that of her father. He died visiting his family in Puerto Rico, which possibly made it even more difficult to handle. He was cremated, but my mother did not seem to care very much about that. She really did not want to talk about the subject; however she mentioned that she wanted to be buried, unlike her father. I never truly understood the differences in being buried as opposed to cremated past the literal differences. What do they symbolize and how do they differ when considering personal opinion or religious aspects?
Grandmother:
Of all of my family members, my grandmother has likely the most experiences with death and the most devastating. She said that the closest experience that she had was with her younger brother, who was fighting illnesses that I am not sure of. She went to visit him in the hospital she said that “I could feel his end nearing as I held him in my arms. He died in my arms and that’s why my baby brother Allen was the closest and saddest experience that I had with death.” She meant this literally, as she was holding him in her arms when he passed.
My grandmother said that she is not sure how she wants to be handled when she dies. She is still debating cremation or being buried. Her main concern is the afterlife. My grandmother has become quite a religious person and she is very worried about her existence in the afterlife. She is Christian and wonders if being cremated will prevent her from having an afterlife. Despite her indecisiveness, she knows for sure that she wants people to remember her and to make a difference in the lives of my family and I. She always tries her hardest to set a positive example and help to make sure that we do not experience the same mistakes as she had.
Analysis:
I still wonder about many things after these interviews, mostly concerning my mother. I am aware that my grandfather sometimes struggled with his alcohol consumption and I wonder if, given that the alcohol issue played a role in his relatively youthful death, my mother had at all resented him because of that. I think at least to some extent that she had, or does. It may not be conscious as I’m sure she may think that she experienced mostly sadness and dread, but she is actually upset that he left her and he is responsible for it.
My uncle also had an alcohol issue. This must have make things unbearable for my grandmother, considering that both her husband and brother died as a result of same issue. Now, my grandmother never drinks. Obviously these deaths have played a role in her hatred towards alcoholic beverages as she has had hands-on experiences with alcohol and how deadly it really can be. Whenever a discussion of alcohol or alcoholism comes up, she refers to it as a disease. It is not simply a choice that one makes, it can easily become more than that. It becomes a disease that eats away at one’s life to a point where it is out of their control. It interests me that she describes the alcoholism this way. I think she may be describing it like this in an attempt to take some of the blame off of her husband and brother for allowing the “disease” to eat away at them. I do not personally understand how an addiction of that extent truly works, however looking from the outside in it seems like people always have choices. The choices that people make determine the path that they set on. One thing that upsets me is that if it was clear that this “disease” existed in their lives, why was a cure not sought out? There are rehabilitation centers to go to and I wonder why either my uncle or my grandfather was ever in one. This is something that to me, could potentially lead to more angry feelings towards them.
*The above two paragraphs discuss aspects of the interviewees lives that I felt were too sensitive or too personal to address with them. They would have likely become to sad or maybe even hostile to give thoughtful answer.
My mother was very brief in her responses. She said that the closest experience she had with death was that of her father. He died visiting his family in Puerto Rico, which possibly made it even more difficult to handle. He was cremated, but my mother did not seem to care very much about that. She really did not want to talk about the subject; however she mentioned that she wanted to be buried, unlike her father. I never truly understood the differences in being buried as opposed to cremated past the literal differences. What do they symbolize and how do they differ when considering personal opinion or religious aspects?
Grandmother:
Of all of my family members, my grandmother has likely the most experiences with death and the most devastating. She said that the closest experience that she had was with her younger brother, who was fighting illnesses that I am not sure of. She went to visit him in the hospital she said that “I could feel his end nearing as I held him in my arms. He died in my arms and that’s why my baby brother Allen was the closest and saddest experience that I had with death.” She meant this literally, as she was holding him in her arms when he passed.
My grandmother said that she is not sure how she wants to be handled when she dies. She is still debating cremation or being buried. Her main concern is the afterlife. My grandmother has become quite a religious person and she is very worried about her existence in the afterlife. She is Christian and wonders if being cremated will prevent her from having an afterlife. Despite her indecisiveness, she knows for sure that she wants people to remember her and to make a difference in the lives of my family and I. She always tries her hardest to set a positive example and help to make sure that we do not experience the same mistakes as she had.
Analysis:
I still wonder about many things after these interviews, mostly concerning my mother. I am aware that my grandfather sometimes struggled with his alcohol consumption and I wonder if, given that the alcohol issue played a role in his relatively youthful death, my mother had at all resented him because of that. I think at least to some extent that she had, or does. It may not be conscious as I’m sure she may think that she experienced mostly sadness and dread, but she is actually upset that he left her and he is responsible for it.
My uncle also had an alcohol issue. This must have make things unbearable for my grandmother, considering that both her husband and brother died as a result of same issue. Now, my grandmother never drinks. Obviously these deaths have played a role in her hatred towards alcoholic beverages as she has had hands-on experiences with alcohol and how deadly it really can be. Whenever a discussion of alcohol or alcoholism comes up, she refers to it as a disease. It is not simply a choice that one makes, it can easily become more than that. It becomes a disease that eats away at one’s life to a point where it is out of their control. It interests me that she describes the alcoholism this way. I think she may be describing it like this in an attempt to take some of the blame off of her husband and brother for allowing the “disease” to eat away at them. I do not personally understand how an addiction of that extent truly works, however looking from the outside in it seems like people always have choices. The choices that people make determine the path that they set on. One thing that upsets me is that if it was clear that this “disease” existed in their lives, why was a cure not sought out? There are rehabilitation centers to go to and I wonder why either my uncle or my grandfather was ever in one. This is something that to me, could potentially lead to more angry feelings towards them.
*The above two paragraphs discuss aspects of the interviewees lives that I felt were too sensitive or too personal to address with them. They would have likely become to sad or maybe even hostile to give thoughtful answer.
Monday, April 25, 2011
HW 47 - Peer Perspectives on the Care of the Dead (THIS ONE FOR COMMENTS)
Anthony Vargas, close friend:
Possibly my closest friend, Anthony Vargas was the first person that I interviewed. He has similar responses to the care of the dead as I had, not having put much thought into the subject either. He said that his parents taught him to respect the dead and that he had one very personal experience with death, which was his grandfather. Being a close friend of his, I was aware of when his grandfather died. He was devastated, as I suspect anyone would be if they were close to their grandfather. Anthony also said that he wants to be buried and have an open casket. He wants to be remembered and for those who love him to be able to see him one last time. I wonder if this is actually good for them or just causes more pain. Although his loved ones will undoubtedly want to see him again, it may just cause them more pain knowing that they will never see him again after that. Then again, pain is just a part of life so it may actually be worth the pain.
Julian Baez, a friend of a friend:
This person is more like an acquaintance to me, I have known him for a while but we are not really friends. He feels that death is not something to be discussed. It is a topic that brings back dreadful, painful memories of loved ones. He likely feels this way being that he lost his mother sometime last year and now lives alone with his father. A lot has changes since parting with his mother, and he seemed to get sadder just by speaking of the event. He also said that his father had gone through a lot of change in losing his wife, which does not surprise me. His father now drinks much more than he used to, and is not home much either. He seems to ignore his responsibilities and an adult and as a father. It saddens me that one death can change so much.
Joshua Barbosa, similar background:
Josh and I are friends and we grew up together, living on the same block. Our families were even close friends. This made it a lot easier to have a friendship. Our families were in very similar situations, his father was not around and I saw mine occasionally. Both of our mothers were very young and very busy, so our grandparents spent most of the time raising us. Things have changed for me however, as I have moved away from the neighborhood and now live with my father. Sadly, the only change for him has been the death of his grandmother. She was more like a mother to him than his own mother. Josh was unarguably the most damaged from the loss than any of the previous interviewees. He entered a depression and even stopped going to school. He felt as if his life was pointless. Just speaking about the matter, he began to stream tears. I decided not to ask any further questions given the emotional breakdown that my peer was experiencing.
I went to his grandmother’s funeral and there was an open casket. This was my first and only time seeing a dead person up close. I was shocked in the woman that I saw. There was so much different about her, she hardly looked the same. There was so much makeup on her and it was not even like I was looking at the person that I remember. In addition to this, being that she was dead obviously took away the cheer that had always just radiated from her. She made people around her happy and it was weird being in a room full of sadness with her there.
These interviews reminded me of how fortunate I have been not to have any people close to me pass away. I cannot even imagine losing my mother, grandfather, or grandmother. It would tear me apart. Despite this, I feel that my family and I would handle the situations differently that the interviewees and their families had. I feel that if my mother or stepmother were to die, my stepfather or father would, rather than allowing the death to eat him apart, somehow turn it into their favor. It would be some sort of motivation to do better in his life, for the sake of their wife. I feel that if my grandmother were to die, I would try even harder in school than I ever had before. I would want to do it for her because I know that she always wanted me to succeed. I would be more motivated.
When it comes to being cared for post death, I would, like Anthony, want to be buried with a closed casket. The closed casket is due to the way that Josh’s grandmother was cared for. I do not want to be seen as something I am not. If it is an open casket, I want it to be all me, all natural. I do not want makeup making me look any different. I do not want to be cremated because I feel that I would be better remembered this way. For my great - great grand children and so on, to be able to know who I was and what I was to them. My views may change however because my being remembered may only cause pain to those that remember me, at least those that knew me. This may make me reconsider what I want done with me when I am gone. I do not wish to be remembered if it is at the expense of another.
Possibly my closest friend, Anthony Vargas was the first person that I interviewed. He has similar responses to the care of the dead as I had, not having put much thought into the subject either. He said that his parents taught him to respect the dead and that he had one very personal experience with death, which was his grandfather. Being a close friend of his, I was aware of when his grandfather died. He was devastated, as I suspect anyone would be if they were close to their grandfather. Anthony also said that he wants to be buried and have an open casket. He wants to be remembered and for those who love him to be able to see him one last time. I wonder if this is actually good for them or just causes more pain. Although his loved ones will undoubtedly want to see him again, it may just cause them more pain knowing that they will never see him again after that. Then again, pain is just a part of life so it may actually be worth the pain.
Julian Baez, a friend of a friend:
This person is more like an acquaintance to me, I have known him for a while but we are not really friends. He feels that death is not something to be discussed. It is a topic that brings back dreadful, painful memories of loved ones. He likely feels this way being that he lost his mother sometime last year and now lives alone with his father. A lot has changes since parting with his mother, and he seemed to get sadder just by speaking of the event. He also said that his father had gone through a lot of change in losing his wife, which does not surprise me. His father now drinks much more than he used to, and is not home much either. He seems to ignore his responsibilities and an adult and as a father. It saddens me that one death can change so much.
Joshua Barbosa, similar background:
Josh and I are friends and we grew up together, living on the same block. Our families were even close friends. This made it a lot easier to have a friendship. Our families were in very similar situations, his father was not around and I saw mine occasionally. Both of our mothers were very young and very busy, so our grandparents spent most of the time raising us. Things have changed for me however, as I have moved away from the neighborhood and now live with my father. Sadly, the only change for him has been the death of his grandmother. She was more like a mother to him than his own mother. Josh was unarguably the most damaged from the loss than any of the previous interviewees. He entered a depression and even stopped going to school. He felt as if his life was pointless. Just speaking about the matter, he began to stream tears. I decided not to ask any further questions given the emotional breakdown that my peer was experiencing.
I went to his grandmother’s funeral and there was an open casket. This was my first and only time seeing a dead person up close. I was shocked in the woman that I saw. There was so much different about her, she hardly looked the same. There was so much makeup on her and it was not even like I was looking at the person that I remember. In addition to this, being that she was dead obviously took away the cheer that had always just radiated from her. She made people around her happy and it was weird being in a room full of sadness with her there.
These interviews reminded me of how fortunate I have been not to have any people close to me pass away. I cannot even imagine losing my mother, grandfather, or grandmother. It would tear me apart. Despite this, I feel that my family and I would handle the situations differently that the interviewees and their families had. I feel that if my mother or stepmother were to die, my stepfather or father would, rather than allowing the death to eat him apart, somehow turn it into their favor. It would be some sort of motivation to do better in his life, for the sake of their wife. I feel that if my grandmother were to die, I would try even harder in school than I ever had before. I would want to do it for her because I know that she always wanted me to succeed. I would be more motivated.
When it comes to being cared for post death, I would, like Anthony, want to be buried with a closed casket. The closed casket is due to the way that Josh’s grandmother was cared for. I do not want to be seen as something I am not. If it is an open casket, I want it to be all me, all natural. I do not want makeup making me look any different. I do not want to be cremated because I feel that I would be better remembered this way. For my great - great grand children and so on, to be able to know who I was and what I was to them. My views may change however because my being remembered may only cause pain to those that remember me, at least those that knew me. This may make me reconsider what I want done with me when I am gone. I do not wish to be remembered if it is at the expense of another.
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