HW #24

Tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom. Published by Double Day in 1997

Précis:
My Tuesdays with Morrie continued to be my most valued day of the week. With his death, he left me with his great influence. He was and has been for many many years, my coach, and even when facing death, he continued to teach me a number of things. He taught me to value life and live a life with meaning, rather than chasing after morally worthless wealth. You cannot buy happiness, which is what Morrie continued to tell me. With his death, he gave me a whole new life to live.

-"The class met on Tuesdays. No books were required. The subject was the meaning of life. It was taught from experience. The teaching goes on" (Albom, 192)
Morris absence does not change everything. He may have impacted certain people in certain ways, however life itself must continue. This relates to another quote involving a wave in the ocean and the wave not actually being a wave, but rather a fragment of the ocean. It symbolizes that life must continue regardless of losses of individual waves, or people, since they are simple part of the bigger picture.
-"Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others." (Albom, 164)
In short, this means that there are different ways to go about things. There are times to put others before you but times where that may not be the best idea. In order to forgive others you must first forgive yourself. You cannot do for others what you have not done for yourself first, just like you cannot or should not be supporting a family if you are unable to do so for yourself first.
-"It's not contagious, you know. Death is as natural as life. It's part of the deal we made."(Albom, 172)
This is just another situation where Morrie displays his acceptance of death. It also relates to the first quote where life still goes on despite his death.
As I finished the book, I began to truly value my life. I see that life is a gift and it made me think about how short it could potentially be. We do not know what could happen to us on any given day, at any moment, and I rather not let my life go to waste. I a, not going to make many significant changed and I will continue to look forward to the future, as I always have, however when an opportunity presents itself I will do my best to take advantage. I want to be proud of my life when it is through.

HW#23

I am reading Tuesdays With Morrie, by Mitch Albom. It was published by Double Day, in 1997.

Precis: As I continue to spend my Tuesdays with Morrie, his health gets progressively worse. He has finally reached the point where he is completely reliant on others, being unable to wipe his own butt. As he nears his death I realize more and more that my life is incomplete. Even on his deathbed, Morrie is a happier man than I am.

-“When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” (Albom, 104)
-“Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I’m sitting here dying, when you need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling your looking for, no matter how much of it you have.” (Albom, 125)
-“The truth is you don’t get satisfaction from those things you know what really gives you satisfaction? What? Offering others what you have to give” (Albom, 126)

My eyes are continuing to open as I read. What is the point of life? Society tells us that money will make us happy and we all pretty much buy into that. For example the holidays, now they are so commercialized and generally what makes people happy on the holidays are materialistic things. I am one of these people. Although I enjoy my family time, I still very much appreciate the material things and would feel very different without them on the holidays. Society has shaped my perception of true happiness and Morrie has different ideas on what it is.

HW#22

I am reading Tuesdays With Morrie, by
Mitch Albom. It was published by Double Day, in 1997.

Precis: I not living the life I always thought I would. I wanted to be a musician and did not want my life to revolve around money or wealth. I wanted meaning. The death of my uncle, my idol, changed many things. I began to value life less, which led to my dedication to my work and career, not the career of my dreams, but my job, what makes me money. I always thought I would die the way my uncle did, but it was not me. It was my brother. When I saw Morrie, my old college professor on TV and it brought me back. He was dying and I decided to finally keep my promise and get in touch. My visits with Morrie made me remember how I used to think and begin to question my current life.

-"Do you think that’s strange? Do you think because I’m dying, I shouldn't care what happens in the world?" (Albom, 50)
-"He had taught me about "being human" and "relating to others," but it was always in the distance, as if from another life. (Albom, 17)
-"There are some mornings when I cry and cry and mourn for myself. Some mornings, i'm so angry and bitter. But it doesn't last too long. Then I get up and say, 'I want to live..." (Albom, 21)

Reading this book makes me realize that your individual death does not mean the end of the entire world. It also teaches me that the world cannot revolve around any one person, so being selfish or self centered is a waste because it does not accomplish anything. It also has made me realize that doing what you dream of dong is more important than simply being wealthy. Money does not mean happiness. Happiness comes from love, be it love for another or love to what you do. I suppose one can love money but that is not really love. You cannot buy happiness. I am very interested to see how Mitch's Tuesdays with Morrie impact him as a person and impact those close to him.

hw 21

-Symptoms included loss of weight, severe coughing, foot growth, walking difficulty, difficulty laying down or sitting up, and eventually they got worse to not being able to eat or talk and could not even hold his own head up
-Wanted everyone around them to constantly be optimistic
-She stopped working and were supported by their family
-Whenever it seemed as if he was recovering he would just end up getting worse
-Despite his poor health, the time that she spent with her husband and their family was great and she valued the experience of being so together
-He was always the healthy one and she was concerned about her health, however the health issues occurred in the person that expected it the least

Her husband wanted everyone around him to be optimistic. Because of his strong personality he did not want any negativity or doubt about his health and that he will die as a result of this disease. It interested me that the Wood family used both allopathic and holistic methods as they attempted to cure the man of the house. His being sent to many hospitals and receiving many treatments provided the allopathic methods and the constant optimism was the holistic method. I agree with the approach that they took to his dying to an extent. I would want to be optimistic about it however I think it is not the brightest move to rule out the possibility. As she stated, he was in denial. He did not want to accept death just yet, which may seem like a good thing, but his willingness to die could possibly make the loss less painful when it happens. It seemed as if at least one of these things was effective since there were times where he got better, unfortunately he could not remain that way.

It would seem like an emotional roller coaster to have one of the people I love most in life be dying and getting better over and over again. The relief and joy of his better health would make me so happy but when his health declined again it would bring even greater sadness that the last time. It would make me feel like he would not survive another attempt. It also intrigued me that he was always the healthy confident one and she was more worried about death. I am thinking that it is possible that since he was never unhealthy, he cared less about his health and may have put less effort into staying healthy. The opposite applies to the mother, where she likely took better care of herself given her fear of death and poor health. This may have lead to his poor health and tragic fight with death.

I was also interested in how things would have been different without the same kind of support from their family. What if their family was not able to assist them the way they had? Would that caused her husbands life span to be shortened or lengthened? Maybe he will fight harder to be with his family after not being with them even while he is dying. Or, maybe he will not had recieved enough support during his fight and will have given up.

HW #19

My father, like most people, is very afraid of death. The thing that scares him most, is abandoning his loved ones and those closest to him. Another aspect that he is fearful of is where he will end up in his afterlife. Like my father, it also interests me what will happen to me in the afterlife; however I see the topic with more curiosity rather than fear. If there is a heaven or hell, you hope you will end up in heaven and if not where his spirit will end up. I would like to do more research and learn where religions or other theories about post death come from.
My father, like myself, also tries not to think about death. When the thought does enter his mind, it is usually concerned about the death of others rather than himself. He tends to worry about others more than himself. I think similarly, since I have always been fortunate not to be ill or have any near death experience. I do not even have an idea of the fears of being close to death. Despite his attempts not to think about death, my father feels that some pros of doing thinking more about it would make him or anyone more mentally familiar with it. I interpret this as preparing for it when it happens, likely to someone close to him.
The closest experience that my father had with death was when his uncle died. He was one of his closest uncles and despite his poor health; his potential death was never a thought. He was a serious smoker and as a result of that, it caused him to feel sad and guilty that he never paid much attention to the fact that he was actually dying. This led pushing him away from smoking, since his uncle dying of emphazima. My father had a very close experience with illness was when it was suspected that he had a brain tumor. This really struck fear into him and made him think about his life and death and angered him for several reasons. He felt that he was being cheated out of life and was upset that there were so many things that he had not accomplished that he wanted to. I feel that if I were him at that time, I would immediately begin to pursue those things and accomplish as much as I could with the time available. I f I were to have a near death experience like that, it would make me value life more and be more productive.
My father would like people to respect his death and have a traditional burial. As for his remembrance, he wants people to talk about and remember him. Something that intrigued me about what he said was that he does not like to talk about the death, yet wants others to do so for him. It made me wonder why he does not like to talk about others. If it is simply because it is saddening why would he want others to think of him, and potentially make them feel that same sadness? He mentioned that he wanted to be remembered for his qualities only, but I am sure the negative aspects will dwell into people’s minds as well. I would like to be remembered as well, but I want an honest memory. I will try to have less bad things to remember me by so that the general thought of me has the good outweighing the bad.

HW#18

            Food obviously played a great role in the way my family and I spent our thanksgiving. There was a great deal of eating for everyone including myself, with very little thought put into the health of the food. Even the people like my uncle and cousin, whom are normally very conscious of what they eat, did not care much on thanksgiving. The only person who changed the way they eat was my stepmother, who had a diabetes test the following day and was instructed not to eat much sugar. It is interesting the way that people go about handling illnesses. There are so many studies done and antibiotics made to prevent or cure them and yet issues that seem to be easier to avoid, like obesity, are still so common. Nobody in my family is obese but several people of the elder generation have suffered from diabetes. This has never been much of a concern to me, however as I grow older it may.

            Fortunately there are not many people in my family that have been seriously ill or died. On my mother’s side, where I usually spend thanksgiving, my grandfather has passed quite some time ago, and my grandmother’s father is seriously ill. I hardly knew my grandfather so his death was not a very big deal to me. My great-grandfather however, was always a family man. He was always there for the family and when he had his stroke a few years back everything changed. That thanksgiving, my grandmother went upstate to visit him along with the rest of her siblings. That was the first thanksgiving that I can remember where there was a small dinner. Normally it is my siblings and I, my mother and stepfather, my grandmother and her father, all of my uncles, and sometimes my grandmother’s siblings as well. Ever since my great-grandfather had his stroke, the holidays were simply not the same.

            As for my fathers side, the only death that really impacts our family occasions is that of my aunts’ mother. It impacts it in a very weird way. During all of our family gatherings, some sort of discussion arises involving her or her death. On thanksgiving, it was who will inherit her house, in Trinidad. Being that it is after her death, some may view this as a negative conversation. As my aunts were discussing it, my grandfather intervened and asked that the topic of conversation be changed to a more cheerful one and it almost turned into a big deal. I think that death should not be viewed as negative for all people must die someday and my great aunt had a very long full life with lots of happiness. We should be thankful that she had a good life and reflect on it with joy rather than view in negatively.

            I suppose these conversations can be seen as a sort of traditional thing. My family has never been very into football, more of baseball people, so we all usually sit around and talk. Coffee is made, deserts served, music played, some dancing, but mostly talking. The conversation usually does not stray far from family memories, sometimes connecting into recent events, but usually things I am not familiar with. They reflect on things that they went through in Trinidad, and how things were so different there than they are here.  When with my mom, it’s usually sharing childhood stories of my mother and her brothers. They talk about the silly trouble they got into and their sibling troubles as well as when they display love for each other. I look forward to being in their shoes and having my own stories to share. This is as close to a family tradition that my family and I have.

HW 17

                I have not had many experiences with illness and dying. The closest experience I had with it was through one of my closest friends. He and I have been great friends since we were five or six years of age. We lived very close to each other, making it simple to maintain a strong, close friendship. Throughout time we also became close with each others family members. Last year his grandmother, whom he used to live with, became very ill. She remained this way for quite some time; however I never thought much of it. On Halloween last year, she passed away. I was not very sure how to feel. I felt awful about the whole situation but I felt even worse because I did not feel the pain I had expected. When I looked at my friend, grieving over his grandmother, who raised him, it made me feel worse for my lack of emotion. He went into a state of depression. He would not speak to anyone and refused to leave his house. This eventually led to a complete waste of a year of his life. He did not go to school and failed the grade. It took him nearly an entire year to recover from the loss. This makes me think and fear death in a way differently than most think about it. Most people fear death of themselves, I fear how I will react to death of someone I really care about and that impacts, or has impacted my life.

                When I think of illness I usually try to be optimistic and hope that someone that is ill can pull through their struggle. I have always been taught that death is inevitable so it is better not to think about it too much. This mindset has been constant for the most part, unless my mind strays and I think about it and alternatives.  Despite this, generally when I think of death I think of fear. I always think of people fearing death. Society teaches us to fear death and those who do fear death are those who simply are not prepared to die or accept that it is inevitable.  Scholar Thomas Aquinus stated that “people are afraid of death not only when they feel its presence but even when they think about it. The ability to understand the reality of death and realize its impact on us, ability to discuss our fears about death helps to fully live our lives.” (Aquinus, Attitudes Towards Death and Dying) I agree with this quote because I feel that the reality of deaths inevitability is what motivates me to make the best out of life, each and every day. I do not want to waste my time with pointless things that do not matter. We are slowly dying with every passing second of our life.

I do not think that my family has any abstract ideas about life. I think they, for the most part, also want to just make the best out of life. I think a theme for them is to provide the younger generation with higher quality lives than they have. When it comes to death there is also nothing very unique. All of my family are religious Catholics or Christians, so they believe in the idea of heaven or hell.  Have been raised with these ideas and do worship god, however I have had my doubts.

A potentially unusual way that I tend to think of death is with a curious approach.

I am not anxious to die, however I do wonder what happens. Of course there are many beliefs such and the aforementioned heaven or hell, or reincarnation. To me, the most likely thing would be an eternal sleep however that could lead to other things. Will you eternally dream as well? Or will it be a nightmare? Is your behavior in your current life what determines if your death ends up a dream or nightmare? Is that what the whole heaven or hell idea comes from? If not these things than do you become something else rather than a person in your dream? Is this what reincarnation really is? Regardless of what happens when you die I do not see anyway to research and truly determine what happens when death occurs. All of the possibilities or beliefs are just theories.

Bibliography

http://www.articlesbase.com/college-and-university-articles/attitudes-towards-death-and-dying-139943.html